


I'll be there for you

by sassenachwaffles



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, wee bit o' angst, wee bit o' fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-05-26 13:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15001958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassenachwaffles/pseuds/sassenachwaffles
Summary: I knew I was in trouble when he moved in. I had known somewhere deep inside, that sharing an apartment with Jamie Fraser was going to be a problem. But, I had needed the help to pay the rent and he was the only suitable person who met my obscene standards.He was clean, respectful, and didn’t mind my coming and going at odd hours.  He was a hard worker, Adso loved him, and all the references on his application had stellar reviews about him.  He was also extremely charming and good-looking. I had started to fall for him the moment he came over for a tour of the apartment, though, I hadn’t wanted to admit it to anyone- let alone myself.The problem was, I was with Frank, and he had a girlfriend—But Jamie Fraser was my best friend, and that was all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “I just started watching New Girl and now I need a fanfic where Jamie and Claire are roommates, getting over heartbreak and dating other people while secretly pining for each other because they spend all this time together having fun and going out and being THEM but they are afraid to ruin their friendship… and okay, I’m done. Maybe I’ll just make a moodboard.”
> 
> Lauren, this is for you.

Claire

_I knew I was in trouble when he moved in. I had known somewhere deep inside, that sharing an apartment with Jamie Fraser was going to be a problem. But, I had needed the help to pay the rent and he was the only suitable person who met my obscene standards._

_He was clean, respectful, and didn’t mind my coming and going at odd hours. He was a hard worker, Adso loved him, and all the references on his application had stellar reviews about him. He was also extremely charming and good-looking. I had started to fall for him the moment he came over for a tour of the apartment, though, I hadn’t wanted to admit it to anyone- let alone myself._

_The problem was, I was with Frank, and he had a girlfriend—But Jamie Fraser was my best friend, and that was all. ___

____

_____________________________

“Bloody hell.” I said rather loudly as I stumbled into the apartment—the bag of groceries falling to the floor and my backpack sliding off my shoulder. “Oh… Fuck!”

The few bits of groceries I had gotten at Tesco rolled around the entry way and I shook my jacket off placing my keys on the table, picking up the contents one by one.

I smelled the scent of steak coming from the kitchen as a warm, friendly, Scottish voice bellowed from within. “Och, seems like someone had a long day?”

“Of course I did. My twelve hour shift turned into a nineteen hour rendezvous full of the University’s finest rugby players: stitches, broken fingers and collar bones, and concussions!” Grocery contents in hand, I walked into the kitchen placing them on the counter. “This smells, divine. God you’re like coming home to a personal housekeeper.”

Jamie- my Scottish best friend and roommate- laughed as he rolled his eyes, plating my dinner on the counter. “It is pretty much what I am. Definitely the best roommate you’ve ever had.”

I came up behind him, grabbing a piece of the veggies with my fingers. I almost wrapped my arms around his waist but stopped just sort.

_He’s not yours, Beauchamp._

He slapped them out of my hand. “Manners, Sassenach.”

“Come on, Fraser. You know how hungry I am by the end of a day like today.”

“Aye, I do. Which is why I made yer favorite: steak with asparagus- and French bread from the little corner bakery down the road.”

My stomach growled in response as he set the plates down on the table. I reached for my fork and hastily took a bite. My mouth full and food half chewed I spoke utter gratitude towards him, “Oh my god I love you.”

“Dinna be chewin’ while her tryna talk to me!” Jamie said as he diligently cut his steak. “Ye canna be going on dates with the Professor while ye have bad habits like this!”

“Ugh… Frank.” I said, shoving my mouth with another bite.

“What did he do today?” Jamie asked, the small curiosity appearing at the small raise of his brows. I thought he didn’t even know he wasn’t be subtle.

I shrugged my shoulders and chewed for a moment. Truth be told, Frank didn’t really do nothing wrong- he was doing everything right. He was professional, handsome in a scholarly way, well educated, and intellectually on my level. He took me to nice restaurants, held the door open for me, and was rather fond of me.

I however, liked the idea of him- but bared no feelings other than the hope he would fill the small void inside of me.

“It’s not him,” I started as I shook my head and ran my hand over my face. “I think it’s me.”

“What do ye mean, Sassenach?”

“I…. I don’t know.” I stated rather honestly. “It’s just after the other guy- the one from before you moved in. Frank’s doing everything right and I just feel distant.”

Jamie took another bite and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms, his blue eyes gazing with his all too familiar, “Tell me more” stare.

“Bastard.” I whispered, but continued. “He’s doing everything right- calling me his girlfriend, opening the doors for me, giving me the space I told him I need. But it’s like when he doesn’t text me good morning I get pissed, when he tells me he has plans with his friend the Reverend but doesn’t invite me I get mad too. I told him we both needed our own lives and we’d figure out how to blend them together but any time he tries- I shut down.”

“Andrew broke yer heart Claire. I didn’t know the man, but I saw ye after… It’s no’ a surprise ye need to find a balance again with yer heart. I ken I am verra biased towards ye…” Jamie said, his accent strong on the tip of his tongue, “But ye are a wonderful woman, Claire. Any man would be lucky to court ye.”

“Court me? God, you sound like an eighteenth century Highlander.” I laughed at his statement- yes he was right, he was always right.

Andrew Macintosh had broken my heart. Jamie had moved in two days after I found out he had been cheating on me- and Jamie, the wonderful human he was, had given me a week’s worth of ice cream and comedy movies to watch. He was there to be my shoulder to cry on—and even let me throw things at the wall in anger, laughing at me telling me we would most definitely not be getting our security deposit back. I had laughed at him. It was from that night with him-after smashing all the plates in my cabinets in anger- I should have known.

“Enough about me. How are things with Mary?” I asked taking my last bite and pushing my plate forward.

“Oh…. The lass is bonny enough.” Jamie responded, standing and gathering the plates and walking over to the sink. “She seems to like me enough, though, she’s no’ so obsessed wi’ me like Laoghaire had been.”

I laughed as I remember the days of Laoghaire- the blonde Scottish lass that Jamie had been casually seeing when he moved in. They had been set up by his sister, Jenny, but Laoghaire- or Leg Hair-as I liked to call her.My pronunciation on Gaelic names was horrid and Jamie never let me live it down- had been obsessive. I had never liked the girl, and hated how much she was obsessed with him. He was my Scot. She left three to four voicemails a day, always calling or texting his cell, and showing up at all hours of the night.

“After Leg Hair… You need a bit a normal in your life.”

“I suppose ye are right.” Jamie turned the faucet on, drowning the silence between us, washing the plates.

“It’s my turn for dishes and you’re still doing them.” I huffed as I walked up and elbowed him in the side.

“Ye are tired, Sassenach. Go soak in the tub with yer little bath bomb things and call it a night, I’ll finish up.” I smiled and shook my head in defeat as I accepted his offer.

“You are the best person ever! I’ll see you tomorrow! Goodnight, roomie.” I offered my farewell to him- the word roomie, a small reminder to myself, not for him, he wasn’t mine and I wasn’t his. 

_There was no us._

_There was Frank. And there was Mary._

_We were best friends. We were roommates._

_But could there ever be?_

“Goodnight, Sassenach.”

_____________________________

The water was warm on my skin and the floral scents from the bath bomb filled my senses.

I ran my fingers over my face as I saw my phone light up on the edge of the tub.

Call me when you’re home. Let’s make plans for Friday night.

Frank’s message burned in the back of my eyes as I slid myself under the water trying to ignore the fact, I was in love with my best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie is with May, but is that who he truly loves?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, folks. We're just getting started!

**Jamie**

A soft knock on the door and a split second later, Mary appeared. “You’re early.”

He smiled sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. “Och, I ken… Claire was havin’ a date over at the flat and I didna want to intrude… and I just had to leave a wee bit early. Figured we could take a nice stroll through the park on our way to dinner.” 

“It is fine. I’m just finishing getting ready. Give me five, and then we can go?” Mary answered opening her door and invited him in. 

“Thank ye.” 

“Make yourself comfortable. I won’t take too long, promise.” She reached up and kissed his cheek as she closed the door behind him. 

Jamie walked into the living room- taking a quick glance around his lady’s living room. He had met Mary through his sister, Jenny. Jenny had said they were compatible and of course, she had been right. 

He enjoyed her well enough. She was smart, family centered, and the conversation was easy. 

She wasn’t Claire, though. 

He sank into the plush grey couch, running his hands down his face. 

With Claire- things were as easy as breathing. There was no forced thought, no stipulated feelings, no awkwardness. She was blunt- always the one to make him accept the things he didn’t want to, make him fix the things he didn’t want to but knew he should. She was the driving force in what had made him grow from a boy to man, if he was honest. 

“I’m ready.” Mary stated as she emerged from her bedroom doing a twirl.

“Aye, lass. Ye look bonny.” Jamie stood, offering her his arm. “Fancy a walk and some dinner?”

_______________________________

He heard Alanis Morissette through the walls as he emerged from the elevator, shooting a quick text to her.

“Sassenach, I can hear yer music threw the walls. 30 seconds to get yerself fully clothed or I see what color panties yer wearing tonight.” 

He laughed as he sent the message.

They had a system- things worked like clockwork around here- their system, foolproof. There were boundaries and rules- things they could do and wouldn’t do. 

He knew on the Friday nights she wasn’t on call- she loved to dance around the apartment in little to no clothes while she cleaned, swaying to her favorite 90s music. 

He had learned that two months into living with her, after accidentally walking in to see her dancing around to Smashmouth in her black grannie panties and a stern, thick British voice reprimanding him. “If my music is playing you tell me you’re coming home!” Needless to say, he had never made that mistake again. Seeing her so carefree- hair a mess atop her head, sashaying around with a duster in her hand, singing the words to ‘All Star’, and leaving an almost finished bottle of red wine on the counter for him to finish with a small sip—that’s when he knew he had started to fall for this woman. 

The music paused as he put his key in the door, opening it slowly. “Sassenach, down to ten seconds. I am entering the premises.” 

“I am decently clothed!” She yelled in response from down the hall. 

“Good, I’m opening my eyes then.” 

He closed the door, locking it behind him. The apartment smelled like her favorite citrus cleaner. 

“Good night cleaning?” He asked as Claire walked down the hallway wrapped in her fuzzy robe. 

“Always. It was a whiny Alanis night. I got into a fight with an attending over a treatment plan for a patient, he called me a bitch…And I think it was because when the head of Neurosurgery came to see what we were so intently discussing, he went with my course for the patient.” 

She walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge, and grabbed two beers handing one to him.

“Ah.” Jamie said, taking a sip and sat on a barstool. “So- ye were right, he was wrong.” 

“Yes. God what is it with men and thinking that they know better off than women?” 

“Ye have boobs.” Jamie said, tilting his head to her. 

“Oh my god. Just because I have boobs doesn’t mean a thing. Most men think with their penis and still get paid more…. Just because they have a penis. I have boobs- whatever. But I also worked hard for a degree, dammit.”

“I ken ye did, Sassenach. Ye are one of the hardest working people I know—it was just a man asserting his dominance over ye. Surely ye put him in his place, as ye put me in mine almost daily.”

She smiled at him, as she took a long swig of her own beer. “I know. I’m just bitching. Changing topics, you’re home earlier than I thought. Date go bad?” 

Jamie let out a Scottish grunt of amusement and shook his head. “No, it went fine. Mary just has a volunteer event early tomorrow, didna want to stay out too late. I didna mind… Wi’ yer call schedule, I feel like I havena seen ye in a month!” 

“Oh, I know.” She laughed, and turned to the cabinet pulling out some popcorn. “Well, since it’s Friday and we’re both home… What do you say, movie night?” 

“Yes. Though, this time… It’s my turn to choose. I am no’ sitting through another documentary on amputations from the eighteenth century.” 

“Fair is fair.” Claire agreed, shaking her head in defeat.

“Let me go change and then we can start.” Jamie said as he nodded, padding down the hallway to bedroom.

_______________________________

“God… I forgot how much I loved this movie.” Claire huffed as she threw her hair up into a bun and then leaned back on the couch. The popcorn bucket was right in the middle between them—Claire’s hand never leaving it.

“Sassench! Save me some o’ the popcorn.” 

“Shut up. You don’t even really like popcorn.” She laughed as she took a pillow and tossed it at him. So, how are things with Mary? Getting serious?” 

“I think so. I like her well enough.” 

“You like her, well enough? What does that even mean?” 

Jamie let out a huff and paused the movie, turning to look at her. “I dinna ken. Truly. I do like her. Enjoy when we spend time together and she’s a bonny lass.”

“That’s a good start, then. I guess it’s just still kind of new to both of you?” Claire questioned.

“Aye. It has only been a month, Claire. We will see what happens in time. How are things with Frank?” He asked, rolling his r’s in his deep Highland lilt.

“Oh, god. Frank said he loved me today casually on the phone. I don’t even think he noticed he said it. It kinda made me want to run for the hills if I am being honest.” Claire finished through a yawn.

Jamie’s heart stopped for a minute, and he looked away, starting the movie again, not really wanting to hear the answer. “Weel, do ye love him?” 

He chuckled lightly to himself, ‘I say a little prayer for you’ crooned in the background as ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ was on the screen.

Oh the irony.

“I think so… I don’t know. What is love supposed to feel like?” Claire asked him, turning her attention back to the movie. 

He laughed at the scene but could feel his heart beat quicken in his chest and the lump in his throat prominent- like he had just dry swallowed a pill. He was grateful for the movie as a distraction to drive out his thoughts on just how much this movie almost paralleled his current reality.

“Hmm...” Jamie said, pondering. It was silent for a few moments, and like clockwork—the popcorn bucket was empty, and Claire’s head found its way to his shoulder. “Ye ken, I think it’s just simple…. When I asked my Da how he knew who was the right woman, he told me when the time came…”

He looked down as he heard the soft snores come from Claire’s body. “He told me I’d have no doubt.” 

Jamie smiled as he reached for the blanket on his other side, and covered her with the blanket. Slowly, he pulled the pillow and slid it under her, replacing his shoulder. 

He walked to his bedroom door, opening it, and looking back. “And he was right, my Da. I don’t. G’night, Sassenach.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 years ago, Claire starts to realize how much this Scot might just change her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wee flashback to when they first became roommates. Hang tight, folks!

**2 Years Ago  
Claire**

James Fraser was running late, and I was about fit to be tied.

I had just finished my third twelve-hour night shift rotation in the ER and came home—Jamie was supposed to meet me at 10AM to get the keys. Then I was supposed to blissfully fall into my bed and sleep until six. Then I would wake up, throw my hair in a bun and go lose myself in cheesy romantic comedies as I got over my recent breakup. I had delved myself into my work to drown the heartache away and had three more nights of this rotation.

I could do it if my bloody new amigo felt the need to show up when he said he would.

I had met the man merely five days before in a quick exchange of names and faces. He had seemed punctual and well versed- he had a bravado that I found almost attractive. This lengthy delay and no word seemed very unlike him though; did I really know the man?

I eyed my phone glancing at the time, 11:04am, when I felt the vibration in my hand.

_“Sorry, lass. I was running out the door when I got a text from my sister Jenny that she had gone into labor with my first nephew! I won’t be making it till later this evening, I apologize I wasn’t able to tell you sooner.”_

I had to smile at that- at least he had a good excuse. I, for one, could definitely give him hell for this later.

locked my phone and finally fell into bed, succumbing to my exhaustion.

__________________________

I was awakened by a rather large knock on the door that made me jolt upright out of bed.

_Pound. Pound. Pound._

Grabbing my glasses and sliding them on, I tossed my hair into a bun and yawned, walking to the door. “I’m coming!”

I heard a soft chuckle through the door as I opened it, seeing a large, red headed Scot stare at me in the face.

“Sorry, Claire, I ken I am late…”

“Oh my god, what time is it?” I asked with my best attempt to be cordial in my sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted state.

“It’s 7:05pm. My sister….”

_Oh shit! I hadn’t replied to his text, had I? Way to go Beauchamp!_

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!” I gasped “I saw it and forgot to answer it—but you know, I am going to give you hell for making me lose an hour of precious sleep!” I finished with a smile and a soft shrug of my shoulders.

“Dinna fash, Sasenach. I shoulda told ye the minute I realized what was happenin’ but I just go’ so caught up. This whole thing has been rather fast since I toured the place last week, I feel like ye dinna even know me! Let’s start this over, aye?” He smiled softly at me and stuck his hand out. “I’m James Fraser, or Jamie. Yer new roommate.”

He was right- he had toured the place and we’d set up our move-in plan. As usual, I needed to get to the hospital. I had sheepishly apologized for being so rushed, and we agreed to see each other again in five days.

I felt scattered and adrift—the break up was still so fresh—and endless current of emotions running through me. I felt like I was drowning; all the plans we had were gone and a simple note was left for me: “I can’t do this anymore.”

His sense of humor warmed my delicate state and I smiled at him, sticking my hand out. “I’m Claire, Claire Beauchamp.”

“Weel, Claire Beauchamp,” Jamie said in his strong Highland lilt, “I’m verra pleased to meet ye and be yer roommate.”

And with the smile he gave me so pure, so genuine— I figured I was the lucky one.

__________________________

“FUCK.” I cursed under my breath as I entered the flat, stubbing my toe on the door.

“What’s amiss, lass?” I heard my new roommate ask from the living room.

“The damn door. I stubbed my toe. I swear it is out to get me!” I grumbled half to myself and half in my best attempt to answer Jamie as I walked into the room.

“Must be out to get ye….” Jamie said as he took stock of my appearance from his spot on the couch

“I think it is.” I said, with tears filled in my eyes. I was exhausted and emotionally drained—of course a bloody stubbed toe would be the one thing to tip me over the edge. I tried to wipe them away but one tear escaped and fell down my face.

“Claire…If I am doin’ something wrong, ye can tell me, aye?” Jamie asked.

“I… No, it’s not you, it’s me.” I hastily replied trying to compose myself. “I’m sorry I’ve been so absent lately. My boyfriend broke up with me and switching from days to night and back to days- I just… haven’t been myself.” The memory of the small post- it note with hastily written writing engrained into my brain.

“Ah.” Jamie replied at me as he strode across the room to me, taking my backpack off my shoulders. “Well, it sounds like ye need a good homecooked meal and a movie, how does that sound?”

“It sounds wonderful if you’re the one doing the cooking and the dishes.” I admitted honestly as I shrugged my shoulders at him.

“As ye wish, Sassenach.”

__________________________

I had found I had been extremely lucky in the fact Jamie Fraser was the tenant to move in with me. I was a disheveled, emotional wreck the first two weeks he had moved in. In all honesty, I was scared I would run him off and would need to start my search all over.

He had been gracious, kind, and present when I needed someone to be around, and gave me the space I needed— all when I didn’t even have to ask for any of it.

I had learned quickly, he was rather good like that— knowing what I needed when I didn’t even know it myself.

The first week he lived with me we went through a record number of 35 pints of Ben & Jerry’s and watched almost every rom-com from the nineties. He never made fun of me and even sang along to the scene in ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’.

I shook my head at the cheesy cake. A very poor excuse for surgical precision was displayed in icing on top. The cake was supposed to read “Thank you Roomie” but looked more along the lines of “tank yoursoom.” My surgeon’s hand was most definitely not going into the pastry business any time soon.

I knocked on his door, holding the cake in my hands when I heard him answer, “Come in!”

I shrugged my shoulders, my green scrubs still covered in some form of human liquid on me and smiled. “I tried to think of the best way to thank you… And I got this cake…. It doesn’t look pretty…”

“Yer ramblin’.” He said, crossing his arms as the towel hung from his hips— his abdomen bare and so defined.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you were showering!” I stammered closing my eyes and turning around quickly so I wasn’t facing him. The cake fell out of my hands and right onto the hardwood floor. I could feel my cheeks turning red and my body temperature rising. “Oh my god.”

“I am decent, Sassenach. Wrapped in a towel… It’s alright. Though, I dinna think the floor is as lucky.”

“I tried to get a cake that said thank you— I was just trying to be a good friend since you were there for me post Andrew-Break-Up.”

“Ah. I see.” Jamie coughed and let out what I assumed was a Scottish noise of disgruntlement.

“So…” I blurted, I could feel the awkward tension that filled the room.

“Well, Claire. I ken how ye can repay me. Ye can cover for me by being my girlfriend for an event at work, how does that sound?”

I turned back around to see my new roommate with pleading eyes and his hands clenched into fists as he put them over his mouth.

“What do I need to do?” I tilted my head and rolled my eyes, giving in to his plea. 

“Ye need to put on yer best dress and be ready to leave in fifteen minutes. Can ye do that?”

“I can.” I replied honestly, as I wondered just what in the hell kind of scheme James Fraser was about to get me into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, I made a mistake and forgot to post *the real* chapter 4 over here. It was posted to my Tumblr and anon caught my mistake!

**2 Years Ago  
Jamie**

****

__________________

He walked into the apartment, setting his keys on the dining room table, his eyes scanned the living room. He saw the tissues lined up on the coffee table and left on the couch.

“Sassenach, ye home?” He asked, loud enough for his voice to bellow through the flat.

“Yes! Just finishing a load of laundry.” Claire answered from the hallway.

“I’m no’ one to pry…” Jamie said as he heard her start the dryer. “But there’s a lo’ of tissues around.”

“I know.” Claire almost growled, pulling out her phone and showing him the screen. “Look at this text from Andrew.”

We need to talk. I miss you. I made a mistake.

“Och.” Jamie breathed.

“Yes. I’ve rather been a mess all afternoon.” She sank into the couch tossing her hair up into a bun. “I might be able to get myself together. Do you have any suggestions, roomie?”

“Aye. I just might.” Jamie laughed sitting down next to her. “My sister always told me, when a man breaks yer heart, best thing to do is to get revenge. Only two men I ken who can help ye here – Ben & Jerry’s.”

“Am I supposed to pretend the spoon is a knife and I am stabbing Andrew’s heart when I dip in for a bite?”

“Ye ken do whatever ye like lass, I’m just a friend, helping a friend.”

Except deep down he knew, he wanted to be more than friends.

__________________

He took the last Clorox wipe covered in cake remnants and threw it into the plastic bag full of other dirty pieces.

“How do I look?” Claire beamed as she emerged back into his bedroom. She was clad in a little black dress- it was a sleeveless dress, with a deep v-neck on the front, with a simple sash around the waist. She accompanied the dress with some classy, simple black heels.

Her hair was loose around her face and he could tell she’d put on a bit of blush and a pink lip.

“Ye look great, Sassenach! Are ye sure ye are willing to do this?” Jamie asked as he tied the plastic bag up. “It’s just a work event, I dinna want to stay long. I just needta to to introduce myself to some new clients. Show ye off to Laoghaire…”

“Ah. I knew there was a girl involved.” Claire laughed as she closed her clutch.

“Yes…. She and I…. I took the lass out on a series of dates a few months back, and we just didna click. She didna get the message either.” Jamie laughed as he offered Claire his arm.

“So let me guess, she’s going to be there tonight so you just need to me to be pretend girlfriend or new fling so she further gets the message?”

“Aye. That would be great.”

“Well, you’ve been there through my rollercoaster of a breakup myself, I think it’s the least I can do. Do you want clingy girlfriend or more standoffish—or do you want completely love struck? I think I can do any of said above.” She smiled as she took his arm.

“I just want ye to be Claire.” He admitted to her and to himself as her touch sent chills down his spine— he knew Claire was going to give him a run for his money.

__________________

He had learned a new side to his roommate tonight. She was enchanting.

Claire could hold her own amongst some of Edinburgh’s finest businessmen. She was well educated, that much he knew— hell she had an MD at the end of her name. But, she was well spoken and soft when she needed to be and firm on her conversation points when she was passionate about something.

Claire Beauchamp could also hold her whisky. Jamie didn’t feel bad when he had left her with his boss, Colum Mackenzie, to go and find Mr. Christie to talk over the new business deal. Claire was in a heated discussion with Colum as to why a woman is just as fit to be a doctor as any of her male counterparts.

He strode across the room to the bar, ordering two more whiskies when he felt a hand on the small of his back.

“Jamie.” A thick, Scottish voice bellowed behind him.

He straightened his back as his ears registered the voice, and turned slowly to face her. “Laoghaire.”

“Ye havena been returning my phone calls.” She said, crossing her arms and raising her brow at him.

“I told ye before, Laoghaire, it wasna going to work between us. In fact…” Jamie said, wishing so badly he had not left Claire with Colum when he had. But just like clockwork, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder, coming up from behind him.

“There you are, Jamie!” Claire said with a soft and thick English accent.

“Laoghaire,” Jamie almost growled, “Meet Claire Beauchamp. My girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Laoghaire retorted, almost spitting her drink out. “Ye dinna tell me ye had a girlfriend!”

“I told ye, two months ago, I was seenin’ someone. In fact, Claire and I moved in together about a week ago now.”

“Oh, so it’s serious?”

Claire kissed Jamie’s cheek and pulled him closer. “Yes, it is.”

“Well, I wish ye two the best of luck.” Laoghaire stammered and turned on her heel.

Jamie watched her walk away and took a large sip of his whisky. “Christ.” He finished, letting out a large breath.

“I can totally see what you mean now.” Claire laughed undoing her hands from his waist.

“Thank ye, Claire. Truly. I can only hope she got the message now.”

“I could thank you, too, I’ve had a great night- even got a number. Some professor, his name is Frank.” Claire said showing Jamie the napkin in her hand with a number written on it. “I needed to get out, rather than be stuck at home. Speaking of…. I’m beat? Want to get Chinese food and go home?”

“I’d love nothin’ better.” Jamie smiled and stood straight, unsure of how he felt about this new professor that might be stealing his new roommate’s time. Jamie just wanted all her time- just to himself.

__________________

He walked through the hallway towards the kitchen as he heard soft noises coming from her bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, so he knocked with one finger.

“Sassenach…” Jamie started, crossing his arms as he leaded against her bedroom doorframe. “I havena known ye long…”

She looked up at him: whisky eyes covered by a film of foggy tears and bloodshot on the sides.

Ah, dhia. She had been crying again.

“You have been calling me that since you moved in and I haven’t thought to ask about what it means until just now.” Claire inquired, a sheepish smile on her face.

Jamie laughed and shook his head walking to the foot of the bed. “What Sassenach means?”

“Yes.” She breathed.

“It’s a Scottish term… It means an ‘outlander,’ someone not from Scotland. Ye ken?” He smiled at her, sitting himself down at the end of her bed. “If ye dinna like it…”

“No, no. It’s fine.” She took her hand and placed it on his, giving it a small squeeze. “I’m always just Claire or Dr. Beauchamp…. It is nice to be something different to someone these days.”

He smiled at her and left him at a loss for words because little did she know, she’d _always_ be something different to him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, NOW this is the real chapter 5! Sorry for the mistake.

**1 Year Ago  
Jamie**

**The one that’s an accident**

Jamie Fraser was a stubborn man. He knew it himself. Hell, Jenny- his sister- consistently reminded him time and time again.

One thing he knew down to the very marrow of his bones- he was in love with Claire Beauchamp.

He had accidentally asked her out- almost without realizing it himself. He had stumbled in from work, a bunch of papers for the company’s project in his hands, and dropped them on the couch. She had stumbled out, her hair wrapped turban-like above her head, and a facemask on.

“Bad day?” Claire had asked, meandering through to the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of whisky.

He nodded, striding across the room taking a seat on the barstool. “Ye could say so.” Jamie reached in front of him, taking her glass and swallowing the contents in one large gulp.

“Damn.” Claire laughed, pouring him another.

“Want to get out of here for the night, I ken a place that’s not sae far from here. A hole in the wall little diner. They serve great waffles.” Jamie shrugged his shoulders trying ot shake the day off and ran his fingers through his hair. 

Claire laughed, nodding at him. “Give me five to tame these medusa curls and throw some clothes on.”

“The Diner” was an apt name: a retro diner with neon sign illuminating the front window. Waves of patrons dotting the red pleather booths as the hours ticked by until only they remained. 

He had ordered her pancakes and him some waffles- each stacked a mile high, ‘wi’ all the proper fixin’s ye ken?’ as the illustrious server, Mrs. Crook, liked to point out. That first night she had talked his ear off- telling him stories of growing up around the globe: riding camels in Egypt, spending summers in Boston, and enjoying wine off the coast of Italy. He had nearly forgotten about the work project that night. And it was then, he’ll look back and remember her face smothered with whip cream, a red M&M stuck to her cheek because she dove into the pancakes head first, and smelling like lavender that was the moment he accepted he loved her.

_Always._

___________________

**The one where it’s a second-not-so-formal-invitation date**

The second time Jamie Fraser asked Claire out was the first time his college best friend and newfound brother in-law met her.

“Ask her out, ye bloody fool!” Ian laughed popping open some beers. “She seems like a lass who can hold her own. Almost like yer sister.”

Claire had stridden in clad in her teal scrubs, hair a bird’s nest atop her head, and blood on her white lab coat.

“I’m so sorry, I told Geillis I would meet her at spin and I was running late in the ER- there was a car crash and damn I’ve never done so many stitches in one sitting!”

Ian had just smiled and laughed, shaking his head.

Realizing Jamie had company over, her cheeks flushed as she stammered, “Jesus. H. Roosevelt Christ! I forgot my manners. I’m Claire, Claire Beauchamp.”

“I ken who ye are lass. Our shared lad doesna stop telling me all about his superhero of a roommate. I’d invite ye to come out with us, but it seems like ye have a busy night ahead, we will catch up soon.”

“Rain-check?” Claire asked as she slid off her sneakers.

“Aye, rain-check.” Jamie agreed. Claire smiled and escaped into her bedroom.

“I like the lass.” Ian said, elbowing his friend and walking out the front door.

****

The bar was crowded for a Wednesday night. The soft hum of classic rock echoed in the background. Jamie and Ian had decided to meet their other friend, John, out for a round or two to celebrate John’s recent promotion. John was technically Jamie’s boss, but the two had befriended each other years back on a work project, and the friendship had remaind.

“Aye, John ye shoulda seen the look on his face when she walked in the door!” Ian laughed taking a large sip of his beer. “It was full on grin. I didna ken our Highlander could smile sae big.”

“This would be his roommate, correct?” John Grey had asked in his thick, formal English accent.

“Aye. She’s a Sassenach like ye as well.”

Jamie sat at the high-top bar swirling the remnants of once cold beer.

John took his knee and slightly nudged his friend, grabbing his attention. “And when are you finally going to ask the lady out?”

Ian let out a small chuckle and nodded. “Aye, Fraser, when ye goin’ to finally ask the lass out?”

“It isna like that…. She’s my best friend and roommate. Drop it.” Jamie rose from his stool and walked to the bar to buy the next round of drinks.

****

Ian had left early to go help his wife with their newborn. John had bid his farewell to go meet his new lady friend named Isobel. He really hadn’t cared- he loved his dear friends, but tonight they had made him start to think some thoughts that he had pushed far away.

The streets of Edinburgh were crisp for the October night and he clutched his jacket tight to his body, rounding the corner to The Diner. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket as a text filled the screen.

_“I see you walking by The Diner. Come help me eat these stack of waffles. You’re buying.”_

He smiled as he opened the door to see Claire in their booth, accompanied by a stack of waffles.

“Care to share, Sassenach?” He asked sliding into the booth.

“They are the world’s best waffles.” She gleamed with a smile on her face.

That night, they truly were the best waffles he’d ever had.

___________________

**The one where she meets the boss, again**

The third time Jamie had inadvertently asked Claire out, his nerves had gotten the best of him. He had been dying to ask Claire out-planning every night for 3 weeks to get the courage to ask her out-but never quite finding the strength.

She was way out of his league, and he knew it. Yet, when the tickets to the theatre were left on his desk with a hand written from Colum stating, “Bring the English lass”- he figured he had the perfect cover.

“Your boss…” Claire had said, “Wants me to go with you?”

“Aye. Weel… I dinna ken if he means with me – I rather think he just wants to see ye again. Ye are a charmer, Sassenach.”

They had gotten ready- Jamie dressed like a Highlander in full regalia, Claire dressed to the nines in a floor length red gown, with a black shawl.

She was breathtaking.

The night was filled with tender touches from her on his chest- his arm always finding its way around her shoulders or waist, her chest resting on his. It shocked him just how easy it felt to be with her- and more than that, how easy it was to want to touch her. There was champagne and bad jokes of Bonnie Prince Charlie. 

Colum had been right, Claire was the perfect person to attend the evening’s festivities.

The night had ended with her falling asleep on his shoulder in the Uber home. He had carried her upstairs and put her to bed, wishing no more than to do just that for the rest of his days.

The third time was the time Jamie knew he had to try to win her heart.

___________________

**The one where the Scot takes a chance**

He had it planned. All laid out in his mind. It was her birthday and he was going to spoil her, and hopefully make her his own.

She would come home from her ER and be exhausted- having no plans to celebrate her special day. He’d be waiting on the couch, have a glass of whisky ready to hand her and tell her he had a surprise.

He had wanted to take her to The Diner- Mrs. Crook had special orders for a waffle stack with “Happy Birthday” written in chocolate sauce on the side, accompanied with her favorite thick cut bacon.

Nothing too over dramatic- nothing too simple—something that was just them. Just like he wanted- just like he hoped for.

He heard the keys in the door as Claire came home. She looked radiant as ever when she came in, her bun half falling out of her face, her glasses crooked on her nose.

“Oh my god.” She laughed. “What a day.”

“Weel, it is a special day indeed.” Jamie almost whispered. “Happy Birthday Sassenach!”

She tossed her lab coat on the edge of the couch and plopped down next to him.

“Shit. I forgot.” Claire admitted as she shrugged her shoulders.

“How do ye forget yer own birthday?”

“I don’t know. I rather… Just have been busy with work and I didn’t realize it was the 20th already!” 

Jamie shook his head, pouring her a glass of whisky.

“You’re the best.” Claire bellowed taking a glass from his hand.

Jamie poured his own glass, reaching over to Claire, tipping his glass to hers. “Slainte.”

“Slainte.” Claire repeated.

“So I was…” Jamie started as he heard Claire’s phone buzz. She looked down and smiled at the text. She stood and crossed the living room, turning around to face him, a grin from ear to ear.

“I have a date tonight! That professor from about a year ago, do you remember? Frank Randall… That’s his name.”

Jamie half smiled and nodded. “Aye.”

“We ran into each other the other day at the library- he asked me out for drinks tonight. I said yes. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date, figured I’d have nothing to lose.” Her voice was hopeful, yet somewhat flat, he noticed.

_Should he stop her? Should he let her go? Did she have nothing to lose? Was he that something she could lose? ___

__“Aye, lass. That’s right, nothing to lose.” Jamie stated- his tone flat and dry. He took down his whisky in one sip, swallowing the hope he had instilled to make this woman more than a friend._ _

___Damn you, Frank Randall._ Jamie thought to himself as he pretended to listen to whatever it was Claire was telling him._ _

__He had wanted to take the chance, but had waited too long. Now, any chance he had of winning Claire over fizzled away._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my girl, @kkruml, who always holds my hand and fixes my work. She's the best beta there is.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep hanging in there, the end will be worth it, promise

**1-Year Ago  
Claire**

I sat across from him in the booth. “The Diner” was where he had taken me for a late night snack or our version of dinner.

There was a neon sign plastered on the outside window that flashed, “Open Crazy Late.” The minute we had walked in, the old jubilant server smiled from ear to ear praising my roommate. “Och, my wee Jamie, yer back!”

Jamie had nodded to a booth over in the corner and then walked to the front counter, kissing the woman on the cheek before sliding in across from me.

“And who is that?” I asked taking a menu from behind the salt.

“That would be Mrs. Crook- she’s the owner’s wife, basically runs the place, ye ken?” Jamie looked at me amused and crossed his arms.

“I ken,” I laughed giving him a confused look, “why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because this is not the kind of place where ye order, Sassenach. It is the kind of place where Mrs. Crook gives ye what ye want, it’s why there are no’ menu on the tables.”

“Ah, I see. So, what will we be eating then tonight?” I piqued back with a shake of my head.

“Tonight…. Will be waffles.” Jamie admitted as he shrugged his shoulders and gave me a small smile

“Sounds delightful.” replied, my voice warm and hopeful. “Better be the best waffles, ever.”

____________________

“Where did ye learn about this place?” Geillis asked as I took my usual seat at the booth. “It looks like a place on a sitcom where all the friends hangout and always drink and eat, ye ken?”

“I bloody ken,” I laughed as I rolled my eyes at her. “Jamie actually told me about this place, a few weeks ago. We’ve been here a few times since. The Crooks own it….”

I blushed as I saw the smile on my best friend’s face. “What is it?”

“Ye’ve been hanging out with the Scot a great deal recently.”

“And?”

“I’m just sayin’ he’s a Scot and seems to have made up his mind about ye.” Geillis pointed out.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her, taking my napkin and undoing my utensils. “We live together, as friends, Geillis. And he may be a Scot but we live in Scotland. There are plenty to go around!”

“Whatever ye say, Claire…. Since ye’ve been here a time or two, what’s the best thing to eat here?” Geillis asked as she pulled her phone out of her bag and checked the screen.

“Waffles…” I said, thinking about Jamie and how much I’d rather share a stack of waffles with him than her. Oddly, I found myself missing his broad shoulders across from me and his long legs constantly hitting me from under the table, Jamie was always going to be my preferred dinner guest here.

The music at the party was cheery and delightful. I wore one of my fancier dresses, and found myself in a corner with the head of the company- Mr. MacKenzie. More over, he was Jamie’s boss.

I twirled my champagne in hand and stared at the bubbles, feeling the effect as the temperature rose in my cheeks.

“So what do ye think of the lad?” Colum asked me as he raised an eyebrow. Jamie stood across the room, talking to Dougal- who I had just learned was his uncle. I scanned the room for a moment eyeing Jamie in the corner. He caught my gaze and gave me a small raise of his glass.

“What do you mean?” I inquired back taking a small sip of my drink trying to deflect the question and bringing my attention back to Colum. I could feel the faint blush of cheeks.

Colum chuckled to himself and smiled. “He’s a strapping lad. Comes from a good home, money, land… He’s set to take over my company in a few years. Be the youngest one yet.

I felt my mouth drop and a small amount of champagne dribble down my chin. “I did not know that.”

My answer took Colum by surprise and he gave me a daring look. “Truly?”

“Truly—and in all honesty, Mr. MacKenzie, I am not sure what Jamie does.” I admitted with a small shrug of my shoulders.

“He’s the vice president of my company. I’m training him personally.” Colum said, standing straight, “I dinna want to intrude, but how did ye land him? He’s a verra eligible bachelor in Edinburgh.”

I took another sip of my drink and coughed as Colum finished his question. “Land him? He answered my add on craigslist for a roommate…”

Colum smiled and shook his head, “Just friends then, are ye?”

The temperature in my cheeks must have been fire hydrant red as I tried to keep myself in check. “Yes, just friends. I honestly had no clue he was such a socialite…”

“Do ye fancy the lad?” Colum asked with a small raise of his eyebrow.

I took a deep breath and stopped short of answering as I felt Jamie’s hand on the small of my back.

Perfect timing, Fraser.

“I hope I am no’ interrupting the two of ye…” Jamie said with a smile, his disruption very welcome, but leaving me wondering, did I want to be more than friends?

____________________

I slammed my pen on my notepad and my temples.

A soft voice beckoned me. “Claire?”

I looked up and saw a warm, friendly face staring down at me.

“Yes, that’s me…” I admitted, searching for a name but coming up empty. “Please forgive me, I know I’ve seen your face….”

“Ah, yes, we met at a party a few months ago. I’m Frank Randall.”

I laughed at myself, exhausted and overworked I was, but still he was handsome and a gentleman. “Yes! That’s right, excuse me, I’m just tired.”

“What are you doing here at this library?” He asked me, taking the seat across from me.

“I am working on writing an article for a medical journal but I can’t seem to find the words.” I admitted honestly, as I closed my laptop.

“Ah… I see. That must mean you’re a very talented doctor.” Frank smiled, his English accent a bit thicker than mine.

“I can hold my own.” I admitted with a small shrug of my shoulders.

“I know this is forward, but would you like to go get drinks sometime soon?”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. “I would enjoy it.”

____________________

Isabella- a three year old with cancer - had an adverse reaction to her radiation. She had died on my shift tonight. I signed off my notes and clocked out on the computer, just excited to get home to my best friend and some crappy leftovers.

As I walked into the flat I saw Jamie sitting on the couch, a big smile on his face. My mood changing drastically just by being in his presence.

He beamed at me, “Happy birthday, Sassenach!”

“Shit!” I stammered, “I forgot.” I truly had forgotten.

“How do ye forget yer own birthday?” Jamie laughed at me.

“I don’t know. I rather… Just have been busy with work and I didn’t realize it was the 20th already!” I admitted. He laughed at me and poured a glass of whisky.

I took the glass from his hand. “You’re the best.”

“Slainte.” Jamie said, tipping his glass towards mine.

“Slainte.” I said in return.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, as Jamie started. “So I was…”

I smiled at the name on the screen and stood, crossing the room. ““I have a date tonight! That professor from about a year ago, do you remember? Frank Randall… That’s his name.”

Jamie took a breath and stopped blinking for a moment. With a half smile he breathed a comment to me. “Aye.”

I tried to take a breath, gathering some courage, and found some words of my own.

“We ran into each other the other day at the library- he asked me out for drinks tonight. I said yes. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date, figured I’d have nothing to lose.” My tone was flat, trying not to be too interested, but leaving enough room for him to stop me.

“Aye, lass. That’s right, nothing to lose.” He responded, his tone dull and lifeless. My heart shattered slowly.

I guess I had been imagining it all in my head after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank YOU for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Frank asks Claire to move in with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are the best. I am glad you are enjoying this story.

**Present Day  
Claire**

I could hear my friend’s voice echoing from the conference room out to the nurse’s station.

“Geillis….” I said, finishing my notes for the patients I had just rounded on. “What on earth are you rambling about?”

Just like a massive strike of lightning I saw a flash of red hair right in front of me.

“Och, I was only ramblin’ about that patient down in the ICU.” She smiled at me warmly and rested her arms on the counter. “What is new with ye? I feel like we havena seen each other in ages.”

She was right, my other friend Joe had gone on vacation last week leaving me to not only cover his callbut also my on call shifts— I had worked, ate, slept, and repeated the vicious cycle for almost two weeks. I hadn’t even seen much of Jamie, let alone my boyfriend, Frank, for that matter either.

“Joe’s on vacation.” I rolled my eyes at her and saved the patient’s chart. “I’ve barely been keeping myself afloat.”

Geillis beamed at me. “I hear Dr. Yang is on call tonight… Maybe we can have a girl’s night? Good news, aye?”

Truth was- I needed a girl’s night. I needed to drink a little too much whisky and maybe lose myself on a dance floor for ten minutes before realizing I am way to English to be out there.

“What day of the week is it?” I asked as I pulled out my phone.

“It’s Wednesday, ye ken? Ladies night at The Penny. I just finished shift number 4 in a row, so I am off fer the next three days.” 

I glanced up and saw an eager look on her face. Quickly I opened my calendar and noticed the date. “You’re going to kill me….”

“Where are the two of ye fools headed tonight?” Geillis piped at me, her Scottish accent thicker than usual. When she used that tone with me, I knew she was referring to Jamie.

“Excuse you.” I blurted, standing and squaring my shoulders at her. “For once, it’s not with Jamie but my actual boyfriend.”

“Ye are foolin’ no one, Beauchamp. Ye may be with Frank now, but I give it 3 more months and ye’ll come to yer senses.” She took her fingers and ran them through her long red hair. “But, fine- next Wednesay ye owe me.”

“Deal.” I finished clocking out and headed towards the locker room.

____________________

“SASSENACH!” I heard Jamie quite nearly yell as I attempted to put some mascara on. I had tried, but his voice startled me, and I took the wand and left a trail of black on my cheekbones.

“Bathroom!” I chimed back at him.

I had taken a steamy shower and cracked the door to help some of the steam dissipate. I heard the creak of the door as my large, Scottish, roommate took a step in- one hand covering his eyes.

“Covered, Sassenach?” He asked with a rather large smile on his face.

“Covered. What on earth is it?” I asked turning from the mirror to face him.

“Uh….” Jamie laughed at me, “Ye do ken, that’s no’ how mascara works, aye?”

“Bloody Scot. Yes I know.” I stopped feeling a faint blush in my cheeks. “I was rather interrupted when someone came charging in the front door calling for me!”

“Och.” Jamie said, sitting down on the lid of the toilet, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, lass.”

I huffed and turned my attention back to the mirror. “Nothing a makeup wipe won’t fix. But, again, I will ask you, what on earth has you so riled up?”

“Right!” He started; I could hear the excitement in his voice. “I was able to make the deal wi’ that American Whisky company. Colum doesna ken yet, but he’s going to be so excited.”

“Jamie, that’s absolutely wonderful. I know he’ll be so excited when he learns about it.”

“He shall. It means I need to go to Boston for a week in a wee bit, but dinna fash, I won’t be gone too long lass.”

I finished wiping the mascara off my face and turned to him, rolling my eyes. “Just what am I going to do without you?”

Jamie stood, and shook his head at me, walking towards the door again. “I dinna ken. Where are ye headed to tonight?”

“Frank is taking me out to dinner.”

“I see.” Jamie said in a monotonous tone. He never got too excited when I mentioned Frank or went out with him. They had met once or twice in passing at the door, but my best friend never seemed too eager for me to spend time with my boyfriend.

“Yup. Speaking of, black jumpsuit or grey dress?” I asked giving him my best lip pout.

“Black jumpsuit with flats. Ye look like the 9th world wonder in that outfit.”

I turned and walked to him, placing a hand on his chest and kissing his cheek. I let my hand linger on his chest for just a moment longer than was probably socially acceptable—but truth be told, I had a little school girl crush on my roommate. I just didn’t think he’d feel the same. “This is why I keep you around. You’re good for my ego.”

“Anything for ye, Claire.” He breathed as I walked to my bedroom.

____________________

“….. And that is what happened to the Jacobites in the Rising of 45.” Fronk finished his miniature history lesson as he took a sip of his wine and went to take a bite of his steak.

“It is most fascinating.” I said, swirling my whisky in my glass. “I almost think it more sad though, when you think about it. The Bonnie Prince Charlie, well he could have been great. He had the name, the cause, and the support of good men willing to lay down their lives for him.”

As I finished my statement, Frank nearly choked. “You do realize, you are English, Claire and not a Scot.”

“I know.” I stammered, taking a sip of my beverage “I just…. It is a rather sad part in Scotland’s history. The English came and invaded, nearly wiping out the Highland culture. It’s almost the same with the English and the Native Americans in America… I don’t know how proud I am to be English. I think I’d rather be Scottish.”

Frank took another bite of his food and shook his head, contemplating what I had just said.

“I just mean… The English were rather barbaric in their conquest of the western world. Maybe it could have gone easier, or more smoothly. I don’t really know what it was like because I wasn’t there, I am not a time traveler after all.”

“Well, I for one… Am proud to be English.” Frank said tartly, taking the last sip of his wine. “Anyways…. Claire.” He continued, clearing his throat.

“Yes?” I said softly, with a smile tilting my head to the side, slightly happy for the change in conversation. “ What is it?”

“We’ve been together for almost 8 months now… I was thinking…”

My stomach dropped and I reached for my whisky, taking a large gulp. I was nervous for where he might be taking this conversation.

“Take a breath, darling, it’s not that question yet.” Frank laughed.

I smiled and nodded. “Alright, go on.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

“I was just thinking, we both have long hours and odd jobs and see each other very rarely at the moment… I was wondering, I know your lease ends in just about two months. Maybe we could look for a place, together?” He finished and sat up straight in his chair.

I laughed and shook my head. “You want to move in with me and Jamie?”

It was Frank’s turn to choke. “I was not referring to you and Jamie—I meant the two of us.”

“Oh,” I said, as the words registered, “You mean, move in together?”

“Yes.” He said, blatantly.

“I…. Can I think about it?” I said honestly as the ball in my stomach knotted. I had seen Frank’s apartment—he was neat and did not live in clutter—and was sure he would pay his share of the rent no problem. I was sure he’d take the garbage out or never leave things in the sink. I was also sure that he wouldn’t leave me encouraging post it notes on last week’s take out, or that he wouldn’t fight me over the last carton of ice cream…. The real question I had to face was could I live somewhere without Jamie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank YOU for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

I felt his hand squeeze mine lightly as I opened the door and got out of the car.

“Promise me you’ll think about it?” Frank asked. I smiled at him softly, and nodded.

“Thank you for a wonderful evening, I will talk to you later.” I closed the door and made my way up to the apartment.

I slid my key into the lock and the knob turned freely. “James…” I groaned as I entered the apartment and took off my heels. “You left the damn door unlocked again.”

I locked the door and turned the hallway light on as a small moan came from the couch. “If you’re having a lady friend over… Say the word, I will escape to my bedroom.”

I laughed at my own comment as I started to walk on my tiptoes to my bedroom, but was stopped as I heard another low groan. The doctor in me halted… That wasn’t a groan of pleasure; it was a groan of pain. I turned shuffling on hasty feet to the couch.

“Alright. You win…. Scale of one to ten, how bad is it?” I kneeled on the floor as I pushed a stray curl off his sweaty forehead. “And you bloody Scot, why didn’t you text me earlier?”

“Sassenach.” Jamie groaned through his teeth.

“Don’t ‘Sassenach’ me. You know how this goes. You’re already face down on the couch and all the lights were off which tells me you were like this for at least a few hours- as there was probably some sunlight still left in the day.” I gritted my teeth through my growing anger. “How. Long.”

It wasn’t a question, rather it was a statement that I knew he’d bloody answer or he would not be taken care of at all tonight. “And, again, how painful?”

“Dinna doctor me, Beauchamp.”

“Whatever, Fraser. Have your own pity party. I’m going to go shower and soak my own muscles.”

I snarled at him, and stood, walking a few feet away from the couch.

“An eight tonight.” Jamie mumbled under bated breath.

“That’s a start.” I said, turning around and crossing my arms. He looked up at me and rolled his blue eyes at me. 

“I’ll ask one more time, how long?”

He grunted, trying his best to sit up. “At least 5 hours. I collapsed here around 6 this evening and havena moved since.”

“Bloody, fucking Scot. You could have called.”

“You were on a date with the professor, yer rules Claire. No texting unless it’s an emergency ye ken?” Jamie finished. I could hear an inflection in his voice, what I thought might be a slight trace of resentment in his voice.

“And what do you think constitutes as an emergency?” I almost let a laugh out. 

“I… I dinna ken, I suppose this is one.” Jamie grunted as he rolled onto his back and tried to bring his knees to his chest.

“This is what, the fourth time since you’ve hurt your back since you’ve moved in?”

“Ye kept track?”

“Of course I did, you damn fool. I am a doctor, ye ken?” I lightened my tone and smiled walking back over to his side, giving my best impression at a Scottish accent. That earned me a small laugh from his large and injured frame. “There’s the sound I love.”

“Och.” Jamie groaned. I found myself clenching my jaw even tigheter at the sound of his pain.

Oh, how I hated to hear him in so much agony.

“It happened this evenin’ when I was helpin’ Jenny move some boxes down from the attic. I dinna think I was lifting wrong… But I heard a crack and I fell down the ladder.”

“Alright. Well. It sounds like it’s just a muscular issue. Which it is usually is.” I ran my finger down his spine. “You know the drill.”

“Aye, I tell ye when.”

“Yes.”

I ran my finger down his vertebrae, slowly, one by one, until I heard him groan in a ruthless pain. “There.”

I made a mental note as if I were dictating my charts after rounds. There was muscle tightness around L2, L3, and L4. He wasn’t running a fever, seemed to be in immense pain, yet he was alert and could move his extremities.

“What now, Dr. Beauchamp?”

I laughed as I felt the temperature rise in my cheeks- whether it was the whisky from dinner or just the mere thought of me feeling up my best friend, I wasn’t truly sure.

“Yer blushing. Do ye want me naked, doctor?”

“In your dreams, Fraser.” I said, collecting myself and putting my professional façade back up through the slight flush in my cheeks. “I am going to reach to the hem of your shirt and lift it up your abdomen just a bit, alright?”

“Alright, Sassenach. Do as ye must.”

My hands made their way down to the hem of his black v-neck. I lifted his shirt, and pressed my cold hands on either side of L4.

“Right here?” I asked as I took my thumbs and massaged his taut muscles slowly.

“Ah, dhia. Ye have the hands of an angel, Sassenach.”

“You can feel your legs, right? No numbness or tingling?”

“None.”

“Okay… Well that is all a good sign. It looks as if you threw your back out. You’re going to be on mandatory bed rest for the rest of the weekend. Do you hear me?”

“I hear ye.”

“I will give you a pain killer and a muscle relaxer to help tonight. Tomorrow we’ll rotate with heat and ice, and some massage as well.”

“Ye just want me for my body, aye?”

I stood, and laughed, shaking my head at him. “You’re impossible. But, we need to get you to my bed.”

“Yer asking me to yer bed?”

“No. I am not- I am putting you in my bed and I will be sleeping on the floor. I have an electric stem machine in my room from med school- we’ll hook you up and I’ll run it every three hours to try and work the muscles out.”

“Yer the boss.”

“I am going to go change- then we will figure out how to get my behemoth patient into the next room. Hang tight for a second?”

Jamie nodded at me. Quickly, I ran into my bedroom and tossed my laundry from the bed to the floor and set up the pillows so he wouldn’t roll off. I changed into sweatpants and an over-sized t-shirt and washed my face. As I made my way back down the hallway, I realized I had grabbed a shirt that belonged to Jamie. How it had ended up in my pile of laundry- I really didn’t know. I took the fabric and sniffed it, god it smelled just like him.

I came back to the living room to find he had gotten himself to the sitting position. I stood in front of him, giving him my hands, and patiently helped him up. 

Once he was standing, I stood in front of him and placed his hands on both my shoulders, and we walked slowly to my room.

“Ye dinna have to take care of me, ye ken?”

“You’re stupid. Hands up. Shirtless it is for you tonight.” He raised his arms and I stood on the bed to be able to reach high enough to get his shirt off.

He smiled at me and groaned as I pulled it above his head.

“Bed, Jamie. Now.”

“Ye always so bossy in the bedroom?” He piqued as he placed himself gingerly onto my mattress.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He grinned at me with a raise of his eyebrows.

I reached the nightstand and took the stem pods and placed the four dots on his lower back. Then I reached for the meds, handing them to him and ordering him to swallow.

He laughed at me, obliging, and then resting his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes.

“If you need anything… I’ll be right here.” I said, motioning to the floor.

“Dinna be stupid, Claire. This is the third time we have had this fight. Ye will sleep in yer own bed. It’s a king, we both fit.”

“It may be the third time… But, it’s diff— ”, I started but was stopped by a firm denial of protest.

“No buts. Ye spend yer week takin’ care of everyone else- ye need to get some good sleep. Get yer ass in bed or I am going to keep ye up all night with stories of fairies and the 18th century.”

“Fine.” I said, walking around to the other side of the bed and sliding in.

I reached over and turned the light off.

“Jamie…” I whispered into the darkness. I waited a moment, to hear the soft hums come from his large and sleeping form.

“You know, it might be a big bed- but I have a feeling this is going to be the best night sleep I’ll ever get.” I scooted myself just a hair closer to him- close enough I could feel his presence in the bed and if he woke up in discomfort I could tend to him, but far enough away it wasn’t too intimate. I fell asleep inhaling the musky, old spice scent of Jamie’s aftershave.

The next morning I woke, his hand encompassed mine, and my head on his bare chest. I looked up to find him still sleeping- the Percocet really knocked him out. I closed my eyes, listening to the smooth and steady beat of his heart and the feel of his steady breathing.

I just wanted to enjoy this for a _moment longer._

I was definitely going to have to think about Frank’s proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

He had been monitored and doctored by his roommate for the past few days- she would wake up and check on him, making him get up before she showered to make sure he properly stretched. She would come home and order him to take his shirt off and hook him up to the STEM machine, letting it run for 30 minutes, while forcing him to watch some drama show about a time-traveling nurse.

By the fourth day- he had had quite enough and was ready to be Jamie again, not a patient. 

He heard his door creak open, like clock work, at 5:45AM and sat straight up in bed. “We’re no’ doin’ this today, Sassenach. I am tired of being yer patient. Get dressed in running clothes, I’m in charge of this morning’s activities.” 

She crossed her arms and stood in the doorway, her curls in a medusa like mess atop her head. She was already dressed in workout clothes, most likely going to hit her usual spin class like she did every Thursday. He laughed as he rolled out of bed, reaching for a discarded shirt on the floor. 

“You’re the doctor now?” She asked, her voice heavy with a sleepiness, yet still sharp and witty in her tone. 

“No. I am no’ a doctor. I am just tired of being doctored by my roommate.” He reached into his closet, grabbing his sneakers. “I just would like to go for a run with my friend, catch up, hear about how her life is. I heard she had a date on Friday night that I have yet to hear about and I would like to hear how the orthopedic rotation is treating her.” 

That got him a laugh as she threw her arms up in defeat. “Fine. A little exercise will be good for you, I guess. No more than three miles.” Claire threw her hair up in a ponytail and flipped his light switch on. He laughed to himself rubbing the sleep from his yes. Claire watched him for a moment, and when the tension eased from his shoulders at her smile, he knew he’d won the argument. He was definitely feeling himself once more.

“Meet you by the door in a few minutes?” Claire squaked.

“Aye, Sassenach.”

_____________________________

The air was cool on his face as he trailed a few steps in front of her. He turned and saw her ponytail bouncing up and down while she picked up from a canter to a run to catch up to his side.

“It’s not bloody fair! You’re injured still, somewhat, but god—you can run like you haven’t been on bed rest all weekend!” She laughed sprinting to his side to catch up to him.

“I am also 6’4” wi’ a long runner’s stride.” Jamie laughed as he elbowed her side. They had quietly run the first mile of their usual 3k loop around Edinburgh, neither one had mentioned anything other than the unusual warmth in the Scottish air for an early fall morning. 

“How was yer date, Friday?” Jamie asked turning his attention back to the path in front of them. 

“It was fine. Good dinner, decent conversation.” Claire started—he could hear a distinctness in her tone that caused him to notice the weariness in her eyes. 

“Did he do something wrong, Claire? I can talk to him if I need to—give him a stern Scottish talking to.” 

She laughed at that and elbowed his side. “No. It isn’t that.”

“Then what is it?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” 

He humphed at that and stopped running in the middle of the path. It took a moment before Claire stopped mid-stride and turned around to face him. “How the hell do you know?” 

“I dinna ken what precisely ye are referring to, Sassenach. But I do ken ye arena telling me something.” 

“I just… It’s…” 

“Claire. The vein the left side of yer neck is popping out. Ye ken I always know when yer keeping something from me.” 

He watched as she stood her ground, crossing her arms. He stood too, crossing his arms shaking his head in dismay. 

Claire groaned in defeat, taking a few steps forward. 

“Remember I told ye once, that there are things I canna tell you and I would ask nothing of ye that ye canna give me. But whatever I would ask of ye, that when ye do tell me, let it be the truth. I’d promised the same in return. We’ve lived together for almost two years, Sassenach. There’s a respect between us…. I think that respect maybe has room for secrets, but not for lies. Do ye agree?” 

She shook her head, taking another step to his proximity, and shouldering him in the side. “I hate it when you make sense. Yes, something happened, but it’s not something I am ready to deal with myself, let alone talk to you about.” She took a deep breath and put her hands on her head.

She let her breath out, and then was silent for a moment. Jamie waited patiently before she spoke again, “I won’t lie to you, Jamie, but I’m not ready to talk about it. Can you live with that, for now?” 

Jamie groaned and smiled down at her. “I can, Sassenach, for now.” 

She smiled up at him, the sun rising just above the tops of the building. “Good. Race you to The Diner, last one there is buying.”

_____________________________

Since their discussion on their run, his mind had wandered all day. What kind of thing could Fronk do or say that she wouldn’t want to talk to him about?

He could see Mary sitting across the table from him. Her mouth was moving, a soft smile on her face, her dirty blonde hair curled and touching her shoulders. He wasn’t listening, nor really paying much attention to her this evening. All Jamie wanted to know was what Claire didn’t want to talk about. 

“And that’s why I prefer teaching middle school to elementary school.” Mary finished. 

“I see.” Jamie said half heartedly, taking a sip of his whisky. “Older bairns are always easier to take care of.” 

“They are. They are like little adults. They have good hearts…They just need a lot of guidance. I love the age gap from 11-13 so much. But enough about my day… How was yours?” Mary asked him, reaching her hand across the table and brushing the top of his knuckles with her finger tips. 

“Och. ‘Twas fine. Colum signed a new deal, so I will be going to America for a week to hash out all the details. Other than that, I cleaned out my inbox.” He watched as she continued to brush her fingertips along his knuckles, but he didn’t respond. 

“I see…. But, there’s obviously something bothering you. What is it, Jamie?” He looked up to Mary’s blue eyes, soft but almost pleading for something. 

“I dinna ken, truly. Something is bothering Claire, and she didna want to talk to me about it.” 

“That isn’t like her, is it?” Mary asked, taking her fingers and intertwining them with Jamie’s. He kept his hand stiff as their palms met. 

“No, it isna like her, at all. I’m her sounding board usually.” He fleshed out honestly. He finally caved to Mary’s touch and gave her hand a small squeeze. “Yer a lass, what kind of question could a man ask that would scare a woman?” 

“Well,” Mary said taking a moment to think, “Claire doesn’t seem like the marrying type to me, at all. So it mustn’t have been about marriage… The only other thing I could think of, is maybe he asked her to move in with him? That would directly scare her, and would also be a reason she didn’t want to mention it to you.”

He sat straight in his chair as he brain registered the events of the day. “Aye, lass. I think yer right.” His tone became stern and angry for a moment. Distracted he pulled out his phone to see if Claire had texted him.

No texting on dates. He thought to himself—she knew he was with Mary tonight—she wasn’t going to text him.

He heard Mary’s chair scoot back as she stood. “I.. I think I need to go.” 

“What? Why?” He asked pulling his attention to Mary. 

“It’s obvious Jamie, you’re in love with Claire. I’m not dumb… I’ve been trying to ignore it, but we’re on a date and you’re distracted by her- you weren’t even listening to me earlier.” Her voice escalated quickly, her fair cheeks turning a shade or red. “I want you to be here with me- not somewhere off in your mind with her.” 

“Sit down, Mary, ye will cause a scene.” 

“Do you love her?” She darted back at him.

“No.” He breathed darting up out of his chair. “I am here with you am I no’?”

Mary took a moment and rubbed her temples, finally taking her seat again. “You are. I’m sorry… I just… It’s weird the relationship you two have. I know she’s your best friend and was before I was even in the picture—It’s just different seeing a male/female best friend relationship.” 

“If Alex hid something from ye, lass, would ye be upset about it?” Jamie asked her simply put in laymen’s terms. Alex was Mary’s best friend since grade school—if Mary could understand this, she could understand why he was worked up about Claire. 

“Yes, I would. I know her better than anyone.” 

“Tis my point, I ken Sassenach, better than she kens herself. I’m sorry I have been verra distracted.” 

“It’s alright, I’m sorry I got worked up. I’m glad we cleared this up.” 

Jamie smiled and reached for Mary’s hand, intertwining their fingers once more. “How about some dessert, and then we go back to your place and watch a movie?” 

“I’d like that very much.” Mary finished. 

Later that night while the movie’s credits rolled, Jamie saw his screen flash with a text message.

_Sassenach: We need to talk about something._

It was then, the dread that had been eating at him all day came back. He reached down to the coffee table, grabbing his phone. He clutched it so tightly, he cracked the glass screen. 

He unlocked it, typing reverently with anger seething out from his fingers. 

_Fronk asked you to move in wi’ him, didn’t he?_

He watched the three little dots appear, then fade. Two minutes passed until her answer came through.

_Yes. Though, I didn’t tell you, not sure how you figured it out. Wanted to see if you wanted to invite Mary to game night Friday? Already texted Geillis, John, Ian and Jenny. Figured we could have some fun since we’re both off…. We will talk about Frank later._

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, holding his breath. How was he ever going to let Claire go?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I…” I was interrupted again by knock on the door and truly unsure of what she was referring to. 
> 
> I could hear Ian’s loud voice through the wood paneling. “If ye dinna open it, I am breaking in!” 
> 
> The doorknob turned and I was greeted by 3 large males chanting in unison, “Game night, game night, game night!”

“Where are the boys?” My best friend asked as she threw her red hair up into a bun.

“They went to buy some beer for tonight and I think some more whisky.” I answered, reaching for a serving bowl in a cabinet.

“Alright… I ken yer hiding something from me. Out wi’ it, Claire.” Geillis sat on the counter as I emptied the bag of chips into the bowl.

“For the umpteenth time, it’s nothing.” I said aggravated. I turned and stared at her, crumpling the empty bag into a ball.

“Yer lying. I ken ye Claire. Just spill.” Geillis reached across me and took a chip and placed it in her mouth, smirking at me.

“Ugh.” I humphed, reaching into the bowl and taking my own handful of chips. “Frank asked me to move in with him.”

I leaned against the countertop, my elbow brushing my friend’s knee. She nudged me in my side and let out a chuckle.

“Ah, finally we get to the truth.”

“Yup.” I answered- almost emotionless, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I kept my eyes closed and heard another giggle escape Geillis’ petite frame.

“How do ye feel about it?”

“How am I supposed to feel about it?”

“Weel,” Geillis started as I opened my eyes to the plop of her feet as she jumped off the counter. “Yer either ready or yer no’, ‘tis as simple as that, I suppose.”

She turned to face me and I felt the temperature in my cheeks rise, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Yer mulling over it. Means ye havena given Frank an answer yet. Means there’s something keeping ye from saying yes or no.”

I took the last chip from my hand and placed it in my mouth, chewing slowly, and narrowing my eyes at her. I swallowed the last bit, and then quirked my brows at her. “I have my lease here- for another year, I just signed my renewal. Plus it’s only been a few months… I don’t know if I am ready.”

“Sure.” Geillis laughed, reaching for the bowl just to my left. “There’s also Jamie to think of.”

She winked at me and turned on her heel, walking out of the kitchen.

I followed closely behind placing a hand on her shoulder and turning her attention back to me as we entered the hallway. “Jamie has nothing to do with it.”

“Are ye so sure, Claire?” Geillis started, but we were stopped as we heard a knock on the door and Ian bellowing a song from the hallway, “I think he has everything to do wi’ it, and ye ken exactly what I mean.”

“I…” I was interrupted again by knock on the door and truly unsure of what she was referring too.

I could hear Ian’s loud voice through the wood paneling. “If ye dinna open it, I am breaking in!”

The doorknob turned and I was greeted by 3 large males chanting in unison, “Game night, game night, game night!”

________________

“King of spades,” Ian nearly screamed at Jamie, and threw a pretzel bite at him. “Means ye drink!”

“I have already shot gunned 3 beers. It’s yer turn…. ‘Tis a team game!” Jamie slammed his hands down on the table. “For Christ’s sake, Ian, yer letting the ladies win!”

“I am not!” Ian laughed as he opened a beer and slid it down the table to Jamie. “Drink.”

“Cards, please.” I chimed in, reaching for the remainder of everyone’s cards. “My turn to shuffle.”

John and Ian handed me their cards, followed by Geillis.

I looked across the coffee table to find Jamie’s eyes content and solid on mine. I could feel the tips of my ears burning pink. I smiled to myself- or to him subconsciously- and rolled my eyes. “You’re such a drama king. It’s game night, you know the rules: If you’re left with the king of spades, you drink.”

John rolled out a belly laugh and passed Jamie another beer, “You also know that if a person in the game has to explain the rules, you drink. That’s two beers, Fraser.”

“Weel Sassnach, ye ken the rule yerself. If said person speaks the rule to another player, that means ruler sayer must drink as well. Bottoms up.”

Ian and Geillis laughed as I reached across the table for the beer John was sliding my direction.

“And ye know the third part of that rule, ye both do, that when two people drink, everyone involved in the hand has to take a shot.” Geillis said, reaching for the whisky in the middle of the table.

“SHOTS!” John yelled as Geillis poured us another round. 

“Slainte, Sassenach.” Jamie said, as he tipped his glass towards me. His blue eyes gleamed as he studied me, like he was trying to read my thoughts. Through the haze of alcohol, I felt a heightened awareness of just how hard he was staring at me and swallowed hard.“Ye might regret introducing us all to the game.”

“Never.” I smiled and winked at him, throwing my shot back.

“That’s how you do it!” John said as he gave Jamie a small punch on his bicep.“Claire showing you how it’s done. And I thought Scots could drink.”

“We can.” Jamie answered sternly and took his shot and slammed his glass down on the table. I flickered my attention towards him as he glanced from John back over to me. His eyes locked with mine once more, and lingered on me for a moment that was not to be considered socially acceptable.

John elbowed Jamie in his side, bringing Jamie’s attention back to reality. “But Scots also knew the English were trouble, and here I am, friends with not only one but two properly English fools, and I live with one.”

John rolled his eyes and took his own shot- Geillis and Ian following right behind.

“Another hand!” Ian said, as he reached across the coffee table and took the deck from my hands. “I’m dealing.”

“Oh my god.” John Grey said in pain as he shot-gunned his last beer. “How did the ladies beat us?”

“Because Ian canna lie!” Jamie angrily said through his gritted teeth from the couch.

“But Claire canna lie either,” Ian chimed in. “Geillis just has the best poker face in the lot of us!”

________________

“Next time…” John started but burped mid sentence, “I think we should do different teams.”

“Seconded.” Ian agreed as the two men sank into the couch. 

I chuckled to myself as I got up from the floor and looked over to the love seat, to find Geillis happily and fairly worse for the wear, passed out. Ian and John were toasted themselves, both men resting their heads on the back of the couch and out within seconds of closing their eyes.

“We’re friends with a bunch of lightweights.” Jamie whispered as he picked up the empty beer cans from the floor. I watched him in shock for a moment at just how easily he seemed to be standing on his own two feet. I knew that while I could hold my liquor – a Scot could hold it better, and Jamie, the true Scotsmen he was, could out do the best of them.

“In their defense, we did go through five six-packs,” I spoke rather loudly and caused Geillis to shift in her sleep. Aiming for a whisper, I finished, “That is a heavy amount of alcohol, and we emptied a full handle of whisky.”

I tilted my head towards the table nodding to the empty bottle.

“I guess yer right. At least we didna have to convince Ian not to drive home this evening.” 

“Stubborn Scots,” I stammered and rolled my eyes and handed Jamie two empty cans from the table.

“Tonight was fun. We need to do it more often, rather than just once a month.”

“I know- I need to stop picking up so many extra shifts. I hadn’t realized how much I missed us all hanging out together.”

“I ken the feeling, the new work project is kicking my arse.”

I laughed at Jamie again, and took a step towards him, tripping over my own feet. I heard the cans as he dropped them to the floor and caught me in his large, over-powering arms. “Och, Sassenach, I ken ye can hold yer liquor pretty well, then ye try to use yer legs and they seem to forget how to work.”

“I was able to stand,” I croaked, “You once told me that you can’t be drunk if you’re standing up.”

“Aye.” Jamie said as he held me steady in his arms. “But you are hardly standing up. How much time do I have?”

“I’m thinking about 20 seconds.” I said, covering my mouth with my hand.

I felt Jamie’s arms scoop me up by the knees as he carried me to the bathroom. 

He set me down next to the toilet softly, and pulled my hair out of my face.

“Don’t worry, I got ye, Claire.”

I felt his hand on the back of my neck as I emptied the contents of my stomach. 

I reached for my shirt and wiped my mouth and turned to look at him, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Tis a good thing ye’ll never have to find out,” Jamie grinned at me.

And as my stomach knotted again and I turned my attention back to the toilet bowl, it then hit me exactly what Geillis had said earlier.

_Of course Jamie was exactly the reason I wasn’t giving Frank an answer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, that is what I am doin’. I am tellin’ ye, that ye need to be a man and grow some bullocks. Tell Mary that she is a lovely lass, she always has been, but it willna work. That it willna work because yer tired of living half a life. She will understand; twill hurt her heart and I hate to say that, but she does care for ye. And ye ken all of that is true.” Ian stopped, and took a sip, narrowing his eyes down at Jamie once more.
> 
> “I have a feeling Mary is going to understand more than ye like to give her credit for, I bet deep down the lass already kens the truth of the situation….Then ye need to have a heart to heart wi’ Claire. Lay it all out for her and let her decide. Then the ball is in her court. Ye owe it to yerself and to her, to tell her how you truly feel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ian Murray, FTW folks.

It had been a week. A week since he had learned the news that his life may change forever. A week since he had last slept soundly.

Ian threw a peanut at him as he swirled his beer in is hand.

“Och brother,” Ian groaned as he reached for the clean glasses and stacked them onto the shelf. “What has yer panties all in a wad?”

Jamie grunted in response from the other side of the bar and took a sip of his beer. “It is nothing.”

Ian laughed and set another glass in its place and then rested his hands on the edge of the counter and leaned over his brother-in-law. “Ye are sae stupid, Fraser.”

“Don’t push me, Murray.”

“I am no’ pushing, I am inquiring.” Ian reached behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whisky and tw glasses. He poured them slowly as he watched his best friend swirl his beer.

“It’s Claire.” Jamie breathed, taking a large sip and finishing the contents of his bottle.

Ian slid Jamie a tumbler of whisky.

“I had a feeling it had to do wi’ her.”

Jamie let out a Scottish noise of disgruntlement and Ian rolled his eyes. “Elaborate, or the drinks are no’ on the house.”

He laughed at that, raised his glass at his best friend, and tipped it in a cheers-like motion. “What good is it being related to the bartender and owner if the drinks arena free?”

“Yer stalling.”

Jamie sat back on the barstool and took a large gulp of the whisky. “Frank asked her to move in with him.”

“Finally, we get to the truth,” Ian said as he rounded from the back of the bar and sat down on the empty stool next to Jamie. “What did she say?”

He let out a breath and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. “It’s more what she didna say, Ian. She doesna want to talk about it to me, at all. And that isna like her.”

Flashes of the past week ran through his mind. How she left earlier than she normally did in the morning to grab a cup of coffee form the local café, knowing full well she preferred his cup of French Roast to any latte, and ‘caught an extra spin class’ after three shifts in a row. How she and Geillis were spending a bit more time together at the hospital, after her shifts: things that she didn’t normally do, he could only think she was trying to ignore him in some way.

“Why do you think that is?” Ian chimed. Jamie turned towards him and noted the small raise of his brow.

“Dinna be lookin’ at me like that.”

“Ye are a smart lad, I willna lie.” Ian complained, “But yer daft for sure when it comes to Claire.” He let out a snort and gave Jamie a devilish grin.

“I’m sorry Ian, I really dinna ken what yer referring to.”

“Jamie,” Ian started, “Ye ken I love ye like a brother? Right?”

“Aye.” Jamie agreed.

“Weel, the lass waited around for ye for about a year when ye first moved in It’s been almost three years now, ye dolt. She didna bring anyone home, she didna even go on a date that first year.” Ian said sternly, “The lass has had it bad for ye for years and ye never made a move.” Ian reached across and placed a hand on Jamie’s forearm. “She isna wanting to talk to ye about it, because she wants ye to tell her not to do it. She wants ye to tell her not to move in with him, and ye want her to stay.”

Jamie let out a Scottish noise and rested his head on the bar, causing Ian to laugh.

“And she’s also no’ talking to ye about it, because she kens yer an honorable man. That she is technically wi’ Frank and that ye will encourage her to move in wi’ him. The real problem is, Claire has waited for ye for almost three years now, and ye havena grown a pair and told her yerself.”

Ian squeezed Jamie’s arm and took a breath, “She’s wi’ Frank now, and ye have Mary, no’ that ye look at her wi’ any semblance of passion like ye do Claire, but ye reap what ye sow, lad. Ye ken this.” 

“Ian…” Jamie tried to start but stopped as Ian raised a hand at him and narrowed his eyes.

“Listen, I ken yer going to tell me ye dinna wish to be wi’ her, ye love Mary, she loves Frank, and so on. But as yer brother tis my duty to tell ye the things ye need to hear when no one else will, right?”

“Aye.”

“So, that is what I am doin’. I am tellin’ ye, that ye need to be a man and grow some bullocks. Tell Mary that she is a lovely lass, she always has been, but it willna work. That it willna work because yer tired of living half a life. She will understand; twill hurt her heart and I hate to say that, but she does care for ye. And ye ken all of that is true.” Ian stopped, and took a sip, narrowing his eyes down at Jamie once more.

“I have a feeling Mary is going to understand more than ye like to give her credit for, I bet deep down the lass already kens the truth of the situation….Then ye need to have a heart to heart wi’ Claire. Lay it all out for her and let her decide. Then the ball is in her court. Ye owe it to yerself and to her, to tell her how you truly feel.”

“Ian….” Jamie tried again, he knew it was true; It had been three years of a knowledge he had tried to forget. Claire and him had danced around each other, both stringing along flings and going about the motions, neither one biting the bullet and speaking up. He had grown tired of waiting- and so had she. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself.

“No, then ye can say ye at least tried and not look back in twenty years and wish ye had done so. Now’s the time. Dinna answer me, because I need to get home. That nephew of yers is giving your sister a run for her money and she’s going out with Claire and Geillis tonight and I am on Da duty.”

Ian let out a big breath and patted Jamie on the shoulder. “I ken ye dinna like to hear this, but I am the only one who can tell ye the truths of yer heart.”

Jamie stared into the distance for a moment, letting the Ian’s words sink in.

“Damn ye, Frasers. Thick skulls, the lot of ye! And I have to deal with both of ye. God help me.” Ian said to himself causing Jamie to laugh and turn his attention to his brother-in-law.

Ian smiled and took a sip of whisky, emptying the contents in the glass and reaching for his keys. “Lock up when yer done, alright?”

Jamie nodded as he watched his friend exit the bar. His mind was racing a mile a minute- _should he tell her? What exactly would she say to him? Would she feel the same? What about Mary and Frank?_

He took the last sip of his whisky- the liquid courage sending a pulse through his veins.

His chance was now- but first he had to make a stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright folks, we're in the final countdown. Buckle up!

**Claire  
10 Days Ago **

Surely, I was drunk. The room was spinning and as I titled my head up from the toilet bowl I saw Jamie’s blue eyes staring down at me as he held my hair back. 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” I said as I wiped mouth with the hem of my shirt. 

“Tis a good thing ye’ll never have to find out.” He grinned at me with a smile that warmed me to my core and sobered me for just a moment. Of course that is what Geillis meant earlier. Even in my liquor induced haze I subconsciously knew deep down I knew I never wanted to live with anyone else but Jamie.

I finished emptying the contents of my stomach and let out a groan of pure frustration. 

“Ye done, Sassenach?” I felt the small circles he was tracing on my lower back and melted slightly to his touch.

_“Yesssss.”_

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the cool porcelain of the toilet bowl. 

“Surely ye ken that is no’ verra sanitary, Dr. Beauchamp. It seems to me that ye are very drunk. I think I need to get ye to bed.” 

It happened so fast, I could barely make sense of what was going on- but as the room stopped spinning, I could feel his arms under my shoulders and knees. 

“I’m fine, I can walk.” I hissed. “You once told me that you can’t be drunk if you’re standing up.” 

“Sassenach, ye’re no’ standing up. I’m holding ye.” 

“I ken that!” I laughed placing my hand on his cheek. I knew it was a rather intimate thing for me to do, but mixing liquor and beer always made me super touchy feely. 

“You’re standing up and I am in an upright position and not vomiting. I think I can walk the 15 feet to my bedroom.” 

“No, ye canna do such a thing.” He spoke softly now, our faces inches a part. “It is my job to see ye fit for the night.” 

I could feel the whisky and the beer flowing through my body, and my subconscious thoughts processing making me act on impulse and on my most hidden desire.

It was quick and almost fleeting. My hand still on his cheek, I kissed him softly.

_“I love you.”_ I whispered. 

“I know.” I thought he said.

When I woke up the next morning, it was as if it never happened, because I couldn’t even remember if it had been real or a dream.

___________________

**Present Day**

“Have ye given Frank an answer yet?” Geillis asked me as she reached across the table and took one of my fries. “It’s been a few weeks. Figure the professor is getting a little antsy for a response.” 

“No…” I replied taking a sip of my tea. “I haven’t.” 

“And he’s no’ badgering you?” 

“Well….” I reached for a fry and took a bite, chewing slowly. “It’s not just that simple, really. He asked, then left for a conference in Boston. We haven’t had time to talk about it.” 

“Just because ye havena talked about it, Claire doesna mean ye havena had time to think about it. I know you, and I ken ye are fretting all about it.” 

I tried to keep my poker face on, but she was right. Geillis was always right. In fact, Frank’s proposition had been on my mind for nearly two weeks. I woke up fretting over it, I went to bed pondering over all the what-ifs. It wasn’t a black and white answer. It wasn’t just a simple “yes.” Maybe it was to Frank, to Geillis, maybe even to Ian- but to me, I had to think of Jamie in all of this. Even though, rationally, he had nothing to do with my relationship with Frank, he was my roommate, my confidante, my steady port in any storm, my rock and my reason. And me moving out would greatly impact his life. 

_And mine. More than I would care to admit._

The last two weeks had flown by- with nine nights of on-call and almost 130 hours spent at the hospital, I had barely seen anyone outside the scope of the medical staff. 

I had seen Jamie a mere five times as our lives rotated on opposite schedules. But there was something different between us- he was smiling at me more, his blue eyes turning to triangles as I felt his gaze on me while I made my smoothie before work. The way he pranced around the apartment while I slept and left me smiley notes on post its in the fridge. 

Something had changed and I wasn’t sure why. I heard Geillis’ voice talking and shook my head, bringing me back down to reality.

“Again, I know ye Claire. And whatever it is that is goin’ on in that head of yers, ye need to sort it out. Ye need to talk to Frank, to Jamie, maybe even Ian, and think about it.” 

“Think about wot exaclty?” I groaned in a thick, exaggerated English accent. “I’m not sure what you are talking about.” 

“You do, Claire.” Geillis said, taking the last fry from my tray and standing up. “I’ve been cheering him on for months, ye just need to take the chance.” 

By the time my mind registered the he she was referring to, she was gone and I couldn’t swallow the reality that I was in fact, head over heels for my best friend.

___________________

Exhausted was an understatement. Emotionally, physically, mentally. I just wanted my bed.

My space. My couch. My apartment. I just wanted my place. 

I didn’t want to think about Frank. I didn’t want to think of the possibility of moving. I didn’t want to try and even think about what the hell Jamie Fraser was doing to me. He was distracting me from my plans. 

Clutching the bottle of whisky to my chest, I took a swig and leaned my head back against the sofa. 

I needed to make a choice: one of faith or one of reason. Deep down in my subconscious I knew which one I wanted…I only had to be brave. 

_Jamie._

That was what was stopping me. Jamie. 

Frank loved me- I knew he did. We were compatible and I did enjoy spending time with him. Rationally, I knew I would live a good life with Frank. He could provide and I could be the nice wife that went by his side to conferences, staff parties, and on his historical adventures. I would be a name to put on his family tree, to one day give him his own children to continue the Randall line. He was safe. And after all I had been through in my life, safe was all I had wanted- it was a blanket of known outcomes in an area of life where there were was nothing more than an uncertain future. I love this passage. He’s so boring tho.

Jamie- he blew that all out of the water. With Jamie- I felt powerful and free- always subconsciously yearned for but never knew I had wanted to feel like. I was unstoppable, brave, and a force to be reckoned with. The security blanket that a life with Frank could offer me was a three sixty from what a life with Jamie would be. I knew Frank was willing to take the chance with me, I had no clue if Jamie was willing to even take that step with me. 

I let out a breath as I heard a soft knock on the door. 

“Coming.” I muttered, setting the bottle on the coffee table and padding to the door. 

I opened to a familiar flash of blonde hair and blue eyes. 

“Mary.” I smiled. 

“Claire…” She almost whispered, “Is Jamie around? I need to speak to him.” 

I caught the soft flicker of a diamond ring on her finger as my world spun around me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Jamie**

He was certain. The most certain of anything he had ever been in his life.

_Claire._

That’s all he saw. 

A house with the white picket fence, kids crawling on his legs when he came home from the office. Cooking dinner and turning around to see her curly wig in those kelly green scrubs. 

_Claire._

It had always been her- it would always be her. 

He knocked on Mary’s door, and for the first time in his life was not scared for what his future might hold. 

**Claire**

“He’s… Uh… Not home right now.” I said, my voice shaking. 

“That’s alright. I am just getting back into town, I will call him… Thank you though, Claire. I wish you nothing but happiness.” Mary’s voice was steady and sweet, she smiled coyly at me, and turned on her heel.

I stood in the front door of the flat, mouth wide open, wondering where along the line I had gone wrong when it came to James Fraser.

**Jamie**

Three minutes. Fifteen knocks. He stood, waiting patiently, but there was no answer.

The clock kept ticking and he couldn’t help but think of how different his life could be in a mere matter of hours: Friday nights spent with Claire, his bedroom could become the guestroom, taking her hair up in his hands and wiping her tears, being the reason Claire smiled in the morning, to be able to run his fingers down the contours of her face, kiss the base of her neck, be the one to make her squeal those little moans of pleasure, to be the one to get her to smile with a small tilt of her face and that smile reserved solely for him- a life with Claire flickered through his mind, until he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

_Mary: Hey, I just got back in to town. We need to talk. Went to your apt and you weren’t there. Can u meet tonight?_

He let out a sigh of relief as he typed his response.

_Yes. Meet you at the park in 15?_

The three bubbles appeared as he awaited his answer. He could feel his heart beat in his throat- he knew he was doing the right thing, doing exactly what he should have done years ago. The problem was, had he waited too long this time around? Would Claire even be willing to give him a proper shot at whatever it was between them?

_Mary: Yes, see you soon._

Fifteen minutes later he found himself walking through the park. He could see the tip of the castle as he leaned against the tree, waiting for her to show up.

He felt her hand on his shoulder as she spoke to him. “Ye showed up.”

“Well, ye said we needed to talk and I was trying to find ye tonight as well.” 

“Aye, I did.” She kept her hands firmly rooted in her pockets and made no gesture for any sort of touch. “I went home this weekend, as you know.” 

He nodded, saying nothing, waiting for her to continue. He tried to find the words but came up short: There was nothing he could tell Mary that would make it sound right- he’d been in love with Claire the entire time they had been together. She had been a bandage to cover his broken heart, and now it was time to rip that band-aid off, though he wasn’t sure how to do so.

“Life’s funny like that, sometimes. Ye go home, to the place that raised ye, and ye remember who ye were once, what ye wanted out of life.” 

“I ken the feeling.” Jamie admitted, and he did- he always held a special place in his heart for Lallybroch. But now it was the creaky floorboards in the foyer that squeaked every morning when Claire left to round, that he said didn’t wake him, yet he heard it all the time. Home was now the third story of a historical home in Edinburgh, where a diner was just a few blocks away. They ate there more than they at ate home. Home was now not dependent on a physical structure, but a person. A whisky eyed, curly wig of a Sassenach. That was home.

“Lallybroch- it is special to ye. I know that, I can tell by the small smile on yer face right now, and ye know that Inverness is special to me.” She took a step closer to him. “Anyways, what I am trying to say is I went home and was reminded of all the things I once wanted in life. Who I wanted to be- what I want out of my life.”

“And?” His heartbeat quickened, in dare what he thought was excitement. He had a gut feeling Mary was about to break up with him, and he was at peace with it.

“You and I, Jamie. We want different things.” 

“Hmm?” He urged her to continue. 

“With different people. I saw my old flame, I guess you could call him. Ronald? Do ye remember him?

“I do.” He out let a small sigh of relief.

“Right before I moved to Edinburgh, he proposed and begged me to stay. I wanted to go to university and get away from all that we had known, so I said no…But, after my years here and who I’ve become, I am no’ happy. And I ken that ye arena happy either.”

He could hear a small tone of resentment in her voice- but he knew she was right. He wasn’t the Jamie he wanted to be. He was only ever fully himself when he was around Claire. This was going to sting a bit, but he ultimately knew they’d both be happier.

“Yer right.” 

“I know I am. And listen, Jamie, I do love you. No’ in the way one should love another, but ye are a special man, and there’s a lass no’ too far from here who deserve you and the life that you want.” 

“Mary…” He breathed. It shouldn’t feel bad, it shouldn’t feel awkward- He did in a way, love Mary, but she was right. The feeling that he had with Mary was no comparison to how he felt when he was with Claire. “I dinna…” 

“Claire.” She stuttered full of reverence. “Ye love her and she is the one who you need to be honest with. I saw Ron at home and we spent all night talking. It was easy, as easy as breathing. He asked me again, to marry him, and I said yes. It was quick- maybe irrational, but when ye know, ye know.” 

“Ye do.” Jamie said, a small smile forming across his face. “Ye damn well do.” 

“So go- tell her, Jamie. She willna wait around for ye forever. And thank ye, for reminding me of who I wanted to be.” She kissed him on his cheek, disappearing into the night. 

With his conscience clear- he headed home. 

**Claire**

I had never packed so frantically in my life.

_Mary McNab._

_A bloody ring._

_Looking for Jamie._

He had bloody proposed and not told me a damn word about it.

I threw some scrubs, workout clothes, and lounging clothes into a duffel bag. Rummaging through the bathroom I gathered my must have items and tossed them into the other contents of the bag. 

Reaching for my phone, I hastily texted Geillis. 

_Can’t explain now. World is ruined. I am coming to stay with you for a few nights, is that okay?_

I sent the message and was nearly at my breaking point when I saw my best friend respond almost instantly.

_Of course. See ya soon._

I ran into the living room, grabbing a notepad and a sharpie. The least I could do was leave the bastard a note… I didn’t want to go as far as using our code for ‘I can’t even speak to you right now’, but 

I stared at the blank paper, unsure of what to write. There was so much I wanted to tell him, so many questions I wanted to ask, so much I wanted to scream at him. Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you ask her that question? Did you feel the same way about me, at any point? Why have we been dancing around each other? 

But if I was being honest with myself, I was just to blame as well. I shouldn’t have listened to Geillis… I should have known he had would chose Mary. 

The situation I found myself in now- this is why I had been with Frank. A safety net. A sure thing.

I could blame no one, but myself. 

My fingers moved faster than my brain registered, as the word appeared on the paper. 

_Marshmallow._

That was our code word for _“Leave me alone, I need my space, I will come to you when I am ready.”_ My own mind and heart needed a break. I didn’t know if I wanted to be with Frank anymore, I didn’t know what I was going to do about Jamie. Geillis was my only answer for now. And as my tear fell down my face, inking the page with a mascara stained spot, I left the place and person I had called home, unsure of what my next move would be.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Marshmallow?” 
> 
> “Yes, basically…. Just text me. Put a sign on the door, on the coffee table… Anywhere. When I see it, I’ll know you need your space and I won’t bother you until you decide to come to me, and vice versa. That way, we each feel entitled to space when we need it.”
> 
> “Marshmallow.” Jamie nodded, downing the last remnants of the beer. “Sounds like a plan, lass.” 
> 
> I coyly smiled at him, reaching for the second beer he had placed on the coffee table. 
> 
> “Think that ones for you, aye?” He smiled at me and gave me the worst attempt at wink I had ever seen in my life- but with a smile like that, I was rather sure I’d never have to marshmallow him out of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there, just a few more chapters! *le slow burn of le slow burn*

**2 Years Ago  
Claire**

“I have a confession.” I admitted as I sank down onto the couch next to Jamie. “I heard your argument with your lady friend last night.” 

“Och.” He breathed as he reached in front of me for a beer. “Ye shouldna heard that…” 

“I’m sorry, I know it was probably a rather personal moment, I was just coming in because I forgot my clothes for spin….”

He handed me his beer and raised his brow at me, urging me to take a sip. I grabbed the beer and downed half its contents.

“Dinna fash. It’s yer home too. I am just sorry ye had to hear it.” 

“Well… I have an idea. A code word.” I passed the beer back to him and pulled my legs crisscross on the sofa and turned my body to face him. “Marshmallow.” 

“Marshmallow?” 

“Yes, basically…. Just text me. Put a sign on the door, on the coffee table… Anywhere. When I see it, I’ll know you need your space and I won’t bother you until you decide to come to me, and vice versa. That way, we each feel entitled to space when we need it.”

“Marshmallow.” Jamie nodded, downing the last remnants of the beer. “Sounds like a plan, lass.” 

I coyly smiled at him, reaching for the second beer he had placed on the coffee table. 

“Think that ones for you, aye?” He smiled at me and gave me the worst attempt at wink I had ever seen in my life- but with a smile like that, I was rather sure I’d never have to marshmallow him out of my life. 

**Present Day  
Claire**

I knocked on the door twice, but was stopped as I heard the deadbolt open. 

“Ye dinna have to explain yerself, Claire.” Geillis said opening the door for me. “But ye bet yer ass I will figure it out by tomorrow if ye dinna tell me.” 

I took a small step inside her flat as the door closed behind me. I dropped my duffel bag to the floor. Emotionally and physically, I was drained.

As a medical student we hear about the body’s flight or fight response. The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system responding to an acute threat on the body—My fight was almost over, my walls almost completely broken down. I had nothing left in me.

I looked up at her, my whisky eyes somber and filled with tears. I knew in that instant, with a small shrug of my shoulders, the dam would break. Yet, I did it.

“Ah dhia,” Geillis whispered, reaching for me as my body sank to the floor. I cradled my knees to my chest and rocked by myself back and forth.

“He asked her to marry him.” I think I was able to mutter- truthfully, I wasn’t sure. At this point, did it even matter if it was true?

**Present Day  
Jamie**

He ran home in a flurry- he knew he was in shape, but as he rounded the last flight of stairs, he was rendered breathless. 

His mind a marathon of events of things to say, things he wanted to do, of things he wanted to do to her. 

Hastily, he slid the key into the lock and opened the door. The darkness of the apartment sent chills down his spine. She is usually home by now, he thought to himself. 

“Sassenach?” He bellowed into the apartment, closing the door behind him. “Are ye home?” 

He slid his shoes off, tossing them in the basket in the entryway waiting for an answer. He knew she was a creature of habit- and she wouldn’t have strayed to far from routine. If he didn’t hear from her in an hour at most, he’d text Geillis. But still, part of him yearned for her to be here- now. He was tired of all the time that they had already wasted.

Jamie heard nothing and walked through the apartment, scouring for any traces of a possibly sleeping Claire. She was nowhere to be found.

Running his fingers through his hair, he decided to take a shower- rinse off his past and the day’s events from his body. That way, whenever she came home- it was a fresh start- for him and for them.

_______________

The water was cold on his face and torso as the jets ran down his body.

What in the bloody hell was taking her so long? He thought to himself. Surely she wasn’t out with Frank- even he knew that Frank was away at a conference this week.

He rinsed his body off and dried himself with a towel, wrapping it around his waist as he decided to walk through the apartment once more. 

And as he entered the living room he saw the note on the table. Her handwriting as clear and precise as a surgeon’s closing sutures.

Marshmallow.

His world crashed in an instant- he almost certain future fading before his eyes. Where in the world had she bloody gone and why did she need her space? 

**Present Day  
Claire **

We sat in her entryway for almost an eternity. She held me, squeezed me, and rocked me like I was a newborn baby.

“Claire, ye are goin’ needta go to bed.” Geillis said, pushing some curls out of my face. “Do ye think ye have enough energy to walk to the guestroom?” 

I nodded through my puffy eyes, taking her hand that she offered, helping me to stand up. 

“The sheets arena clean from the last time ye stayed here about two weeks ago, but…” 

“It’s fine.” I snapped. 

“Yer world may seem to be crashing, Beauchamp, but that doesna mean ye get to lash out at me.” Geillis opened the door to the guestroom and placed her hands on her hip. “I ken this isna how ye planned anything, but dinna be takin’ it out on me. I have only ever been on yer side.” 

I sat on the end of the bed and wiped my eyes, feeling the last bits of the mascara scattered across my face. “I know, I’m sorry… You’re just here….” 

“And an easy target to direct your anger at. I get it.”

“I need to take a shower…” 

“Ye ken where the towels are.” 

“Yes.” 

“And have ye eaten?” 

“No.” I admitted.

“Looks as if ye havena eaten in days.” Geillis almost laughed at me.

“It’s been… Two… I’ve been on call for a few days.” 

“Och lass. I will go pour us something strong and make some food. Take a shower, then ye can tell me all about what has yer panties in a wad, alright?” 

I nodded as my best friend escaped down the hall. I heard the vibration of a text from my phone on the dresser. I stood, taking the few steps to get my screen into view as a text appeared.

_“Ye can marshmallow me all ye want, but we need to talk, Sassenach. Face to face, I dinna ken why ye arena home and runnin’ away from me.”_

I picked up the phone and unlocked it, typing a quick response. 

_“I hope you have a nice life.”_

I ran to the shower with my clothes still on, letting the warm spray wash my tears away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank YOU for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**One Week Later  
Jamie **

Of all the things he had learned about Claire Beauchamp: when the woman set her mind to something, her mind was set and there was no changing it. 

It had been a week since he had least heard from her. 

_I hope you have a nice life._

The words were etched into the back of his eyelids. They were the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last thing he thought about when he fell asleep at night. He also knew what ‘marshmallow’ meant –he couldn’t push her or she’d never come around. She’d not given any inclination as to why she needed her space. 

_Was it something he had done? Was it something she had done herself, and couldn’t face himWhy was she closing him out? Now, of all times, when he wanted her the closest to him- why was this the furthest she’d ever been?_

His heart hurt. Anatomically he had learned from his favorite doctor that a human heart could not exactly break- but emotionally, now that was a different story.

Claire had been the woman who had sutured his broken heart together more than once- and the only woman to repair it now. But she was also the woman who had crumbled his heart into a million pieces. 

_It’s ironic how life works sometimes, isn’t it?_

It was cold in the streets of Edinburgh and he clutched his jacket tight across his body, watching her pace through the bedroom. 

It had been 7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes since he had last heard her voice. He reached in his pocket and open the flask, taking a sip of whisky, and the first steps towards repairing whatever it was that was broken.

_____________________

_  
**Earlier that Day**  
_

He scanned the cafeteria for any sight of those all too familiar brown curly wig. When he was sure Claire was nowhere to be found, he set his tray down firmly at a table where a fiery redhead eyed him with suspicion. 

“We need to talk, Geillis.” 

She looked up into his eyes and took a bite of her salad, chewing slowly and narrowing her eyes at him. The lump in his throat grew almost double in size by the look on her face- if she was giving him this look, Claire must really be hurting.

“There is nothing I need to say to you.”

He grabbed his sandwich and took a bite. Chewing at a rate to match his seat mate’s, he glared back at her with a determination on his face.

“I ken yer no’ going to say anything, but she’s no’ here eating wi’ ye. So I’ll talk, you listen.” He reached for his soda and took a sip and taking a breath. “Then ye can make up yer mind as to whether ye’ll tell me whether I can see her or not.” 

She nodded at him, taking another bite of her salad.

“Alright…” He started spilling out his heart, hoping to sway Claire’s only other sounding board and figure out what the bloody hell was going on.

_____________________

**Present Day  
Claire**

_Jamie: I am coming to ye, Claire. Whether ye like it or not, ye’ll hear what I have to say._

I stared down at my phone, clutching it so tightly that my knuckles were going white. 

_He’s here. What am I going to do? Do I hear what he has to say? Do I just slam the door in his face and tell him to go fuck himself?_

_But, it’s Jamie—he has got to have a good reason._

I heard her soft knock on the door as Geillis opened it slowly. “He should be here any minute. I am goin’ to a bar down the street to give ye both some space… If ye need me, text me.” 

“I….” I started but stopped locking my phone out of habit. 

“Hey, do ye want me to tell him to leave?” I felt her hand on the small of my back. Turning to face her I gave a soft smile and shook my head. 

“No, it’s been a week. I have got to face the music sooner or later.” 

“Alright.” She whispered. “Ye need me, I’ll be here.” 

She turned on her heel and left. I felt my phone buzz in my hands. 

_Jamie: Can I come up?_

Slowly I typed a response: _Yes._

The four minutes it took him to walk up to the fourth floor seemed like an eternity. I found myself walking into my best friend’s kitchen and pouring a rather stiff glass of whisky. I stared down at the amber contents as I heard him enter the kitchen. 

“Care to share, Sassenach?” 

“I’m not in a sharing mood right now.” I almost growled at him. 

“I would talk, but I dinna ken what to say.” 

_That made me laugh._

“What do you mean?” I asked him incredulously, raising my brow at him and trying to stifle another laugh.

“I mean I dinna ken why ye bloody marshmallowed me!” His hands were in fists and he slammed them down on the counter. There was a coolness in his tone I hadn’t heard before. “I waited…” He took a breath and closed his eyes. “ I hoped ye would come around. At least give me a breadcrumb or something, Claire. But ye left me hanging by a thread.”

Jamie had always told me I had a glass face: every emotion, every thought, every minute feeling I had would be displayed across my features- and I had learned he had been right. And while he could read me, if there was one other person I knew as well as the back of my hand, it was him. I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms, searching his expression.

His blue eyes were grey, a thin film of tears covered them and I could see the bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in at least a few days. My physician mindset noted that for his 6’3” frame he was uncannily skinny- he must have dropped some weight due to stress. It almost pained me to see him like this- yes I had been in hell for a week, but my distancing myself from him had just about done him in too. Maybe I had not taken the right approach with this.

But the one thing I could tell: He was being honest; he had no clue why I had left him in the dark, stranded with no answer. 

This time I took a breath, trying to keep my own tears at bay. “She came to the apartment that night. Flashed that ring on her finger.” 

I watched as his lips formed a small smile at the corners and he let a single tear escape down his wind-flushed cheeks. 

_“Claire.”_ He said my name with a fierceness in his tone- a way I had never my name escape his lips before and took a step towards me. _“That wasna my ring.”_

I choked on my whisky. He wasn’t lying. I could tell by the small from on his lips and how he kept his head down, like a kicked puppy. I had only ever seen that look on his face one other time- when he had told his brother-in-law, Ian, that his leg was not able to be saved. I felt the air rush out of lungs, shocked, he truly had no clue. He had no clue why I had reacted like I had, he had no clue what had made me so upset I had literally run away from home for a week. 

“She… I…” I threw my hands up and let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Ye jumped to a conclusion, Sassenach.” He took another step towards me. I could see the blue in his eyes form into a triangle; he was now a man on a mission.

I took a step back and closed my eyes, counting to ten in my head. 

“I made a conclusion based on deductive reasoning and evidence on hand, Fraser. What was I supposed to expect?”

“For one, ye could have waited to hear what I had to say rather than storming off wi’out even hearing it from the true source.” 

“Well now you get to explain yourself.” I stood my ground and crossed my arms. I almost wanted to let myself _hope_ for that small millisecond he was going to tell me what I wanted to hear- but after the past week, I had to keep my guard up. 

I had barely survived rock bottom once- I’d be damned if I let Jamie Fraser put me there twice in one week. 

“I dinna ken what ye want me to explain.” He leaned against the counter and smiled at me. 

_“You dinna ken?”_ I gave him my sassy, less than impressive, Scottish accent. 

““Claire,” He growled, taking a step closer to me. “I’ve loved ye since the day I met ye. And I shall love ye until the day I die. We’ve been dancing round each other in circles since we’ve met- Frank and Mary- they were our best attempts to not take a chance.” 

I held my breath for a moment as my rational mind realized where he was going with this. “Not take a chance… You mean?” I took a hand and signaled between us. 

Whatever air was left in my lungs was gone again by that damn look in his eyes. I could feel my knees going week.

“This.” He whispered. 

_“This?”_

“Whatever it is between us. I ken ye know exactly what I am referring to.” 

“And?” I stuttered, taking a small step back and leaning against the wall. If he was going where I thought he was headed- I was surely going to be weak in the knees. 

“I love ye, Claire. I love ye when yer moody and dinna want to do the dishes. I love ye when yer grumpy after yer fourth night on call in a row. I love ye when ye do the little dance ye do in yer panties when ye clean on a Friday night. I love ye even though ye dinna ken how to cook. I love ye when ye order that stack of pancakes from The Diner and eat ‘em in a record time. I ken ye love me, too.” He took a step closer and placed a hand on my waist. His thumb touched my bare skin where my tank top was rucked up a bit. 

I was afraid I might fall where I stand- my knees might give out at any second. Between the last week of near sleepless nights, a slight whisky induced haze, and the sensation _this was all a dream_ , I was having a hard time accepting my current situation. He was here. Saying all the things I had so longed for.

“Jamie…” I tried to start, but was stopped as his other hand covered my mouth. His touch on my skin sent an electric current through me. It felt right. 

“Out with..” I tried to mutter but was stopped with a harsh response from him.

“Shh… I’m no’ done talking, Sassenach.”

I nodded at him, holding my breath, as he smiled at me and slowly dropped his hand from my mouth. His eyes scanned my features looking for something and I gave him a meek smile. He caught it and cautiously he placed his other hand on my hip, running his fingers along the waistline of my pajamas, moving his face so our noses were just an inch apart. 

I could feel the warmth of his breath on my lips as he whispered. “I love you, Claire.” My name said in his Highland lilt sent goosebumps across my body. “I ken ye love me, too.”

“You don’t get to tell me how I bloody feel.” I whispered keeping my arms down at my side and closing my eyes trying to keep my own tears from escaping. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. You don’t get to do this to me.” 

He closed the distance between our faces, his lips touching mine as he spoke. “Aye, I do. Ye love me, Sassenach.”

I looke into his eyes, somber and warm, and ever emcompassing. Whatever I had thought had been broke between us was all an apparition. He was here to change things, fix it, to make me his. He had laid himself bare right in front of me- I had to be the one to finish closing the gap between us. 

I took my arms and threw them around his neck, pulling his mouth towards mine. “I do.” I finished for him, accepting the truth I had for so long tried to avoid. 

He kissed me then in return- soft and slow- a kiss full of promise and hope. 

Breathless, he cupped my face between his hands, “I ken there are some things that needta be worked out and that I may have to earn yer trust again… But please, no more runnin’… Whatever has to be done, we face together.” 

“Together.” I echoed. 

“Now, can we please go home? There are some things I want to do to ye, but I canna do it here.” 

“Yes.” I whispered in his ear feeling the warmth in my belly grow. “Let’s go home, roomie.”

_“Sassenach… Ye will always be my roommate.”_ He said through a smile, his eyes blue as the ocean- his intentions clear. I grabbed my jacket from the barstools as I followed him out of the apartment, his hand never leaving mine.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Fraser was my home- and I had almost let him go. The thought sobered me for a moment, my heart skipping a beat. The realization that he was all I had ever wanted and hoped for, almost too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. Hope the slow burn has been worth it.

For so long I had been so many things to so many different people. 

I was Claire Beauchamp growing up, I was Claire the medical student, and I was Dr. Beauchamp the resident. I had lived in different homes and places, never somewhere long enough I felt like I had left my mark, though the places had left a mark on me.

But the physical structure I had called a home the last few years—I had shared it with Jamie it became home. A place where I wanted to firmly plant some roots, continue to live and grow. Moreover I had learned home wasn’t defined by four walls, a bed, a kitchen, and a roof. Home is a living breathing person- it is the person who you want to go to bed looking at and the first person you want to see when you wake up. 

James Fraser was my home- and I had almost let him go. The thought sobered me for a moment, my heart skipping a beat. The realization that he was all I had ever wanted and hoped for, almost too good to be true. 

My face felt hot and I could feel the tips of my ears burning red. I felt his eyes on me as I stared down at the floor, my fingers idly hanging around the button on my jeans. His hands were on my waist as he sat on the edge of the bed, warm anchors keeping me on this plane of reality.

“Claire…” He spoke so softly I was unsure if he had really said my name out loud, “We dinna have to, that is if ye arena ready.” 

I looked up at him as his blue eyes were searing into mine. “I want you.” 

One by one, I unbuttoned the flannel I was wearing and let the shirt fall to the floor. Our eyes never breaking contact, his hands firm on my waist—the one thing keeping me anchored in this moment.

I took his hands in mine, leading them towards the button on my jeans. “Help me.” I whispered.

 _“Christ.”_ He stammered as he hastily undid my jeans and pushed them down my thighs. I could feel his eyes on me as they traveled up and down my body. 

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” I smirked as I reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

 _My god._ I thought. _He’s a bloody David statue, right before my very eyes._ His abs flexed under my touch. _I’m unraveling him as much as he is me._

“You’re beautiful.” 

“So are you, mo nighaen donn.” He reached for me, pulling down so we were sprawled on the bed. He trailed kisses from my jaw to my neck sending chills dancing along my spine. The gooseflesh on my skin made his body go rigid on top of me. I felt his chest breathe in and breathe out, the sigh warm on my neck. “Ye have no idea how long I have wanted to do this to ye, Sassenach.” 

He kissed me as he rolled us on the bed so he was above me now. His hands tracing the contours of my lower back to the clasp on my bra, undoing it slowly.

“I think I bloody do.” I lifted my head and kissed right above his heart. I closed my eyes and took a breath, savoring this moment. “I thought I’d lost you.” My tone faltered for a minute. I didn’t want to change the mood, but I was tired of all the pretending we’d been doing the past few years.

“Ye never lost me.” His voice was firm and I could see the wetness in his eyes. “I was yers from the moment I laid eyes on you.” 

I felt the temperature rise in my cheeks and turned my head to the side breaking the eye contact. “How many cheesy lines does it usually take for you to get inside someone’s pants?” 

“It’s no’ a cheesy one liner. I’ve been yers, Claire, from the start. Look at me and tell me ye believe me.” His hand cupped my jaw and turned my face back towards him. The look in his eyes- a seriousness that bore down to his soul- answered the remaining hesitation I was feeling. “I love you.” 

He put his mouth on mine then, his tongue trailing my bottom lip and then searching and seeking an answer. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me, our torsos lining up, bare skin on bare skin. I could taste the salt from his tears. 

My hands were all over him- scanning and learning all the parts that encompassed him. My tongue wrestled with his as his warm hands pushed my panties halfway down my thighs.

“Your… Pants…” I somehow coherently stammered between when his mouth left mine for a moment. He laughed at me, kissing the bridge of his nose.

“Aye.” I could see the faint blush of his cheeks even in the dimly lit room. “I suppose if we are to continue this there needs to be a lack of clothes.” 

He pushed himself up on his hands, scanning me down from head to toe. “Claire…” 

His eyes were covered in a thin film of tears and I felt my walls wanting to go back up. “If you don’t like what you see…” 

_“Never.”_ He said firmly, standing up and remaining near the edge of the bed. I watched in a trance as his hands pulled my panties the rest of the way down my legs and seductively tossed them to the floor. 

“Yer the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He took a breath and released it slowly. “I’m no’ much, but whatever I am, it is yers if ye want it.” 

He looked at me with pleading eyes and a tear rolled down my cheek. Barely audible, I heard him ask me one more time. He was vulnerable and laying all of himself right before me- just as I had done a few moments ago. “Do you want me?”

“Yes…. Yes, I do want you.” 

He smiled at me with a grin that made the butterflies in my stomach go even faster. Our eyes never broke contact as he undid his pants- I just heard his metal belt buckle clank against the old hardwood floors. 

This was getting real- getting intimate- and I couldn’t stop staring at him. Why was he unraveling me like this?

“Boxers.” I whispered, lifting a foot and using my big toe to push it just off his waist. “Off.” 

“As ye wish.” He let out a quiet and breathless laugh and through a smile pushed his boxers to the floor. 

Oh, he did want me. He wanted me badly- just about as much as I wanted him.

“There’s no’ going back- once we, once I…”

I looked up to his face to find the same hesitation in his eyes I had encountered too, wanting to reassure him once more just how badly I wanted him- wanted this.

“Come here.” I fiercely smiled at him as I sat up and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him back down on top of me. I couldn’t find the words for it, but Jamie ignited a fire inside of me, something that made me feel as if I were the only woman that could do this to him. 

He kissed me- soft and slow, taking my hair up in his hands. His lips were soft and slightly chapped, tasting of remnants of whisky and wine. I could feel his firmness on my belly, his knees pushing my legs apart. My hands were on his back trying to pull him closer to me-searching for the oneness I so longed to find with him and was just moments away from. 

After kissing me senseless and leaving us both without breath, our chests heaving for oxygen, hovering above me, muscles tense like an animal waiting to strike his eyes seared into mine—asking the question. 

“Do it now,” I said sternly, “And don’t be gentle.” 

He nodded at me, reaching down and guiding himself into me. 

“Christ.” I said as he slowly filled me wrapping my arms around his back. He burrowed his face in the crook of my neck. 

“I feel like god himself when I’m inside ye.” His voice was warm and full of content, full of love, full of everything I’d been hoping for and more. He kissed my neck and stayed there. 

He was so deep inside of me, filled me so completely I was seeing stars. I could feel the ache in my chest swell and the deep pulse in my belly as it burst into flames. For a moment, we stayed completely still as our bodies acclimated to one another.

“I canna wait anymore, Claire.” He said pushing on to his hands once more as I felt the crescendo of his movements. I raised my hips in an answer to him as his hands pinned me to the mattress.

“Don’t.” I whispered, completely at his mercy. 

The pressure in my chest built as I felt heat flush over me. My fingers dug into his skin, so hard I wasn’t sure if I was breaking the skin or not. I didn’t care, if I left a mark on him so be it. The muscles in his arm trembled as his breath became shallow, the sweat on our skin mixing as his fingers intertwined with mine.

Reality lost all meaning in these moments… It wasn’t real, we weren’t real, we weren’t here. The taste of his kisses, the feeling of his body owning mine, the soft moans of his mouth as he kissed the tips of my breasts. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. 

His hands traced down the sides of my body as he snatched around my lower back and angled me just right. I let out a moan as his movements picked up pace, he could tell I was close to the summit- close to flying off the edge. 

“Now,” He whispered in my ear, as he thrust into me with the strongest force yet, “Now Claire.” My name a prayer amongst his lips.

“Oh god, oh Claire, oh Claire.” He whispered between kisses as I felt him chasing his own climax. His lip quivered as a few final thrusts sent us both other the edge, a promise of the flesh and two souls seared into one. 

“Claire.” He said, laying on top of me. 

Wordless, I kissed the base of his jaw as the stars dissipated from my vision. 

“I’m home.” I whispered into his ear, pushing his red hair off his forehead. “For so long I have searched for a place, a space- this. Between us…” 

“Is home.” He finished for me, kissing me softly. And he was right, finally, as one we were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank YOU for reading.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Folks- this is the end of the line. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions as I have written the fic. I've endured some personal highs and some personal lows during IBTFY's Claire and Jamie's story. It's also the first multi-chapter fic over 5 chapters I have completed. It's bittersweet as I press 'post' for the last time and close the door for a while on these two. Thank you for every reblog and kudos. If you're over on Tumblr, thank you for every like, DM, and reblog. It's because of the readers that writers chose to carry on. 
> 
> Le slow burn of le slow burn is over!
> 
> And to MissClaireBelle and Kkruml- you're unceasing and unwavering belief in me is beyond words. Thank you.

**One Month Later  
Claire**

I found it funny how while to any passerby who came through our apartment nothing had changed .We still had the black couch. The coffee table still had a dent in it from a game night six months past where John had inevitably drunkenly fallen and hit his head causing me to do my first ‘at home’ stitches with nothing but the unfinished vodka handle to clean out the wound and no localized anesthesia for the poor man

The kitchen still had a few broken tiles that needed to get fixed from where Jamie punched the wall. The floor still had some stains from a spot where I left a cold beer too long.

So while nothing had seemingly changed, _everything_ too had also changed.

We had yet to out ourselves to our friends, Geillis being the one exception. We had practically almost gotten it on in her kitchen- and she’d never let me live that one down. Jamie’s belongings had slowly trickled from his bedroom to mine. ‘Ours’ I had to remind myself. His extra firm pillow was on the side of the bed where he said he liked to sleep- but I knew well enough after waking up with my entire body spooned against his, we both preferred the right side of the bed. 

I had learned he liked getting up with me at my ungodly hours when I was on call. There was always a whisky or cup of coffee waiting on me before I left or for whenever I came home. 

He never complained when I did our laundry. He caught on rather quickly that folding clothes was not my forte and I had a tendency to leave the clean clothes in a basket in front of the dryer. That would leave him unsure if they were truly clean or dirty… Soon enough he caught on and I would come home to folded clothes that had also been put away. 

We had set into our own rhythm the last month. It was shocking at times when I stopped and thought about it- being with Jamie was as easy as breathing. 

I was coming off my sixth night on call- My trauma rotation was nearing its end, and after a massive car accident off the freeway where I had a mass casualty with six dead bodies on my watch.

I had never had that many patients die on my service in all my years as a resident and in one night it had nearly doubled.

I could feel the imaginary weight of the day on my shoulders as I entered the apartment. I could smell the beef stew in the crockpot. The table had been set, a glass of whisky waiting for me (per usual) and a large, red headed Scot with a smile.

“Ye look like ye didna have a good day. Please tell me ye dinna feel as bad as ye look.” The shrug on his shoulders and half smile made me feel like I had just kicked a puppy. He had had something planned tonight and I was coming in ruining it.

Did I look as bad as I felt, though? Apparently. His words were the tip of the iceberg for me, sending me down into full meltdown mode. “I had six patients die in the A&E tonight.”

“That massive accident I saw on the news?”

“Yes.” My voice faltered. I took a step towards him and he rushed to my side. His arms encompassed me and I felt him crush me tightly against his body.

“Ye did everything ye could to save them, I know ye did Claire.” I felt the tears running down my face as he continued. “Christ. Ye have a gift, Sassenach. Yer hands- ye’re a healer. I know ye did everything you could and then some. Just because the devil is tryna scheme ye, dinna let him get ye.”

“I could have done _more_ …” My voice cracked as I tried to defend circumstances I knew were well out of my control.

I felt his chest tighten as he squeezed me even more taut to his body. “Dinna go there. Ye did everything ye could. Ye look like ye have been hit by a train. Hell I havena seen ye in nearly a week, Sassenach. Ye’re tired, overworked, and hungry.” He kissed the top of my head and gave my rear end a tight squeeze. I could tell he was trying to lighten my mood and he was doing a decent job at it so far. “We’re no’ going to have a pity party because that’s no’ who ye are.”

“I love you.” I mumbled into his chest. He knew me better than I knew myself sometimes- and he was right. I had endured a hard week and this was just the cherry on the top.

“I ken ye do, and I thank ye for it. How about I draw ye a bath and then we can eat and try and take yer mind off of things?” I looked up to see his blue eyes darken in the centers.

“You just want to get _laid._ ”

“Maybe.” He smiled, kissing the bridge of my nose. “Ye will have yer courses any day now, and I just want to love on every inch of ye….”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been moody lately. It’s probably the combo of being overworked and PMS. It has been a while since we’ve…”

“ _Eight days_ , no’ that I’m counting.”

He was counting and I had to admit it: I found it rather endearing. He had tried to seduce me this past week. The first time was on my first morning of my seven in a row, but when my cellphone went off with an emergency trauma surgery, our supposed hour to get ready together was cut short. The second time he had texted me naughty phrases all day and told me to stay up a ‘wee bit’ past my bed time- and I had tried and failed miserably.

I blushed as I nudged his chest with my head. “You’re involved with a doctor now. Odd hours of being on-call and mood swings come with the territory. This weekend I will be all yours- you can do whatever you’d like to me.”

“A whole weekend, aye?”

“Relationships are compromise right? I’ve been too exhausted to satiate the fiend of a boyfriend I have- so I’ll give him my body, all weekend. Purely at his disposal.” This earned me a hearty laugh and he kissed my forehead.

“Ye make me sound like a nymphomaniac, Sassenach.”

“I mean… There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy sex life.”

“So I can make love to ye then- after ye have taken a shower?” He smiled at me and gave me the worst attempt at a wink I’d ever seen. (And threw me off just a touch.)

“Yes.” I choked. “Only if you promise to never wink at me again.”

“Deal. Do hurry though, Sassenach. I am no’ a verra patient man.”

I disentangled myself from his arms and escaped to the bathroom. I shed the scrubs from my body, tossing them in the hamper as I heard the soft croons from Frank Sinatra come from the kitchen.

“You’re such a romantic,” I said to myself. “And all mine.”

He was, and I was incredibly lucky. Turning the shower on, I felt my phone vibrate on the counter.

_Geillis: You need to tell the others. I am tired of covering for you two. John knows something is up!_

“Jamie,” I yelled taking a step into the shower. “When are we going to tell the others we’re together.”

“Mmphm.” Jamie grunted entering the bathroom. I rolled my eyes at him through the glass shower door and lathered my hair in shampoo.

“We both know they’ve been rooting for us since you moved in.”

“I ken.”

“And?”

He strode the few feet across to the glass and drew a heart in the condensation. “I like having ye as my little secret.”

“Bloody Scot.” I mumbled rinsing out my hair. “We can’t hide forever. I have that function next week at the hospital- John is a donor there, you know he’ll see us.”

“Fine. Game night on Friday and we can tell them.”

I mouthed _I love you_ as he sashayed away in his defeat. “Hurry, yer food is goin’ to go cold.”

II finished washing my body and shaving my legs. Turning off the water, I heard The X-Files theme song bellow from my phone. Grabbing for my towel I saw the hospital’s caller ID On the screen.

“Dr. Beauchamp,” I answered in my doctor tone.

“Hey, Claire- it’s Geillis,” My female friend started on the other end of the line.

“Hey, what’s up? I’m off. If it’s a surgery, transfer to the night rotation doctor, I am off for the weekend.”

“It’s no’ that…” She took a breath and was silent for a moment. “I dinna ken how to tell ye.”

“What is it?” I asked as I reached for my body lotion.

“Do ye remember how ye were worried about your hemoglobin levels, anemic or whatnot since ye have been working so much?”

“Yes,” I hesitantly said. I had been scared I wasn’t eating and sleeping enough, causing some issues. I had her run a CBC panel just to put my mind at ease. I hadn’t really thought anything would come back- let alone for her to call me. “What is it?” She caught the edge in my voice as if I were giving bad news to a patient’s family.

“I…”

“Just say it, Geillis.”

She took another breath and clicked her tongue. “You’re pregnant.”

Suddenly- it all made sense. The exhaustion and mood swings, the insatiable demand for Jamie.

“I’ll only ask once,” Geillis said. “Is it Jamie’s?”

“I…” I was speechless. “Yes.” I finished. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

“I ken. We’ll talk later.”

As I was hanging up the phone, I turned to the doorframe and saw my 6’3” and rather formidable Scot standing in the doorframe.

“Ye look like ye’ve seen a ghost, Sassenach. Are ye almost ready?”

I opened my mouth to speak but failed at words.

“Is everything alright?”

“No.” I said firmly. A smile crept across his face and he shook his head at me, though I could tell it was merely from confusion. “I mean, no but yes, but no, but yes. I don’t bloody know!” I raised my hands at him and shook my own head.

“Talk to me.”

“I…” I took a breath and placed my hands on the sink turning my face away from his eye contact. “We’re getting another roommate.”

“I’m sorry, I dinna understand.” His voice was quiet. I could practically hear the wheels in his head turning. He had a pensive look on his face, a small smile in his eyes. I could see the realization coming across his face slowly but surely.

“Another _roommate._ ” I whispered taking one hand and placing it over my abdomen. “Do ye ken what I mean now, Fraser?”

“Claire….” He uttered taking a step into the bathroom. “Are ye….”

“I’m pregnant.”

I felt his hands on my waist as he turned me back to face him- his eyes covered with a thin film of tears and a smile from ear to ear.

“Another roommate, then.” He agreed placing a hand on my stomach.

And it was in that moment, any unknown or uncertain fear I had about the next chapter in our lives- whatever came, whatever we endured, as long as he kept looking at me like that- I knew we’d be just fine.

“Another roommate.” I smiled, placing my hand atop his, giving it a squeeze. “Another bloody roommate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before y'all yell at me for it being over. To answer the most asked question as I've come to the final few chapters: YES there will be another arc for these two. I am in the midst of planning it right now. So just _hang tight_.


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